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Middle School Dance: Take 2

2012-02-09T08:44:00.001-06:00

Yes, it's been a LONG time since I blogged here. As I pondered what to start with as my first post of 2012, I realized I had a lot of directions I could go. Perhaps I'd start with the tale of how my husband had a little mini-retreat with his elevated liver enzymes at a hospital while we were on vacation in Florida after Christmas. Or, maybe I'd go the sentimental route and tell about how my heart melted yesterday when my youngest came home from school and declared that we'd been too "Busy Biz" lately and that he just wanted to spend some time with me. Or, I may have decided to write about how I'd become overwhelmed with the thought of blogging when there are SO MANY GOOD BLOGS OUT THERE already!!!

Alas, I decided to break my silence. And not with any of those items....

What I decided to write about today is what I am most excited about this week:

I have been given clearance to chaperone at the middle school dance!!!!

When I say "clearance," you may be thinking that I've been through the approved background/reference check process that some schools may employee to allow volunteers to work with your children, but that's not the one I'm talking about. I'm talking about the clearance that my child has given me in order to show up and be visible to his friends, enemies, and even his frenemies. IN PUBLIC. Y'all. I'm allowed to be in public at a dance where my child will be where his friends might surmise that he has a MOTHER. (Remember that age when you tried to convince the world that you were an island because nobody--and I mean nobody--had parents are un-cool as yours?) We're not quite there with my oldest (he's almost 11), but I fear that's on the horizon, so I'm going to jump at this chance to see him in action at the middle school dance because it may well be my last.

I was banned from the "Glow in the Dark Winter Wonderland Dance" back in December and assumed that would be the trend for all his middle school dances. Imagine my surprise when the permission slip came home and he oh-so-casually said "You can come" when I saw the little check box next to "I would like to chaperone."

You know I checked that box with a sharpie and sent it in the next day. (I would've hand delivered it to school that very minute had the office still been open.)

Overly excited emotions in check, I have given my word all week that I will behave--I keep telling him that I want to be invited back and therefore will be on my very best behavior. (Mantra of the week: I will not dance or sing on Friday. I will not dance or sing on Friday. I will not dance or sing on Friday. I will not dance or sing on Friday.)

We've been practicing, even-- I will probably be selling concessions, so I've had practice sessions. I will stand behind the table in our kitchen with "Party Rock Anthem" blasting on the ipod and the kids come up to me and we do pretend transactions. (yes, I'm serious.)

ME: "Would.you.like.some.chips?" [monotone, flatlined voice]
KID: "Yes! I would!"
ME: "thank.you.very.much.that.will.be.50.cents." [hand them chips]

HOWEVER. I started thinking..... I'm kind of addicted to pop music. The more Beiber-y, Miley-y, Selena-y, Party Rock Anthem-y, Jagger-y, whatever....the more Top 40 it is, the more likely I am to break.it.down. I can still do the worm, for crying out loud!!! What an absolute waste of energy, enthusiasm, and TALENT for me to go and boringly sell a bunch of junk food when I could be dancing to Rhianna!!! People. This is going to be a total identity crisis for me and I've been trying to come up with some sort of compromise.

So, today I started thinking..............

What if I restricted my moves to the concession stand? And, what if the moves corresponded to the very moment when I am walking within the concession stand to get a red Gatorade? Like this--somebody asks for a Gatorade....I do the "Dougie" back to the Gatorade department. OR, a child requests Sour Punch Straws and I go shuffling back to the candy area, get their order, and then shuffle right on back up to the counter?

What do you think???

Here's what I think. What follows is a photo of me (and several people who will KILL me for posting this pic--sorry girls!) at my middle school dance. I think we will all agree that I need a SERIOUS do-over. Here's my chance. Friday. TOMORROW.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.

(I'm second from the left...)

So this is Christmas....and what have you done?

2011-12-22T11:35:00.001-06:00

3 days until Christmas! It's been a good week....but I'd be lying if I didn't say that some of the days have gone on a little long... However--take heart! Yesterday was the winter solstice which means it's all going to get brighter from here on out!

So, a few quotes and pictures of what has been going on here lately:

Let's start with the quotes:
ME to my friend Kara (who was at the Y where I should've been this morning): "Please don't ever let my kids talk me out of going to the Y...it's like Armageddon around here."

ME to my children this morning: "Who wants to be in charge of getting my Diet Cokes for me today?" (I especially wanted thy youngest child who was still raising the roof long past 10:00 and up around 6:00 this morning to volunteer for this one.)

ME: "Will you all please just act like human beings?!?"
WILL: "I don't want to be a human being!"

WILL: "Can I have a Christmas cookie?"
ME: "We don't have any."
WILL: "You better start cooking then."

JOHN: "This is the best day!"
MADDY: "We love doing fun stuff like this!"

OK, then, it's all worthwhile! Here's a few pictures that showcase/reiterate some of the quotes above as well as some other happenings from the week:

Maddy made stations this morning. Here's the Dance Floor. Next picture (which I apologize for its' sideways nature) is the Craft Center:

My favorite Cooky Book to use during the holidays. My mom used this one growing up and I got a copy a few years ago. I think Will is going to be glad to see this one out....

O.M.GOSH. :) My brother texted me this picture yesterday of what's going on in KY at my mom's house. Save some for me!!!

These days, my "alarm clock" usually consists of a text from a child telling me they are ready for breakfast....sometimes accompanied by a photo of a seriously bedheaded child.

RAINY. We'd rather have a little snow...but nonetheless, this just makes me glad I took them to the zoo yesterday when it wasn't rainy and that I chose today as our day to finally use a Bounce U groupon that's getting ready to expire. 3:00 can't get here soon enough...

Oh mercy, I don't know. Stuff just happens around here and there's no explanation.

Shrinky Dinks! We're having a very retro Christmas....

Christmas Week: a mini pictorial

2011-12-19T15:17:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas! We are T-6 days until the sleigh lands here and school is OUT. Which means, I'll probably be interrupted writing this post about 7.4 times in the next 5 minutes. "Mom--can I download this app?" "Mom-can you pour the milk?" "Mom-he took my TINKERTOYS!"

This brings me to picture #1 which we will entitle "Tinker Toys: a blessing and a curse."

The tinkertoys were a $2 garage sale ~~mistake~~ investment this fall and they have given us MORE than $2 worth of enjoyment. However....when two or more children are feeling tinkerlationally creative, there quickly becomes a shortage of orange rods or yellow wheels or blue spokes. And that, my friends, is a recipe for a Christmas disaster. Tinkertoys quickly become Tinkerweapons/Tinkerwhips/Tinkerguns. I quickly go from Mrs. Claus to The Grinch in about 3 seconds as I navigate my way through that obstacle. (Can I also say that when you are done playing with the Tinkertoys, the clean up is MASSIVE. The box clearly states with pride: "over 200 pieces!" and let me tell you--you've never seen so many hiding spots for these plastic pieces.

(pause: if I were writing this post in REAL TIME, you would've already witnessed my referree whistle coming out for one Tinker Toy dispute and just now, child 2 walked/stomped whilst weeping as she left the Tinkertoy zone headed to her room.)

One last bit about picture #1: notice the "Kid Tree" in the background. I did it this year! I finally let them have their own tree to ~~make as ugly as they wanted~~ decorate this year. Please notice it in the back corner...hey, somebody turn the lights on!

Perfect Segue to Picture #2: "The Tree of Inner Peace".

In an earlier post, I referenced the fact that I've been parenting a baby or toddler for over 10 years now which has really cramped my Christmas decorating style. Hazards everywhere! Plus....they just destroy anything nice that we have (can I get an AMEN!?!?) so I just haven't bothered to put much out. This year, my "baby" is four and I was feeling ambitious which made me EXCITED to decorate with nice things and have my very own tree which we all now refer to as "mom's tree ot inner peace." I. LOVE. IT. I know you're supposed to love people, not things, but let's just agree to make an exception on this one. I LOVE MY TREE OF INNER PEACE. It is decorated with brand new ornaments that I picked out that make me extremely happy. It is in the downstairs/kitchen work area to which I am chained to much of the day, so it's the perfect spot to have a little extra inner peace coming at you, if you know what I mean. Nobody is allowed to touch it. Nobody is allowed to add to or take away from it--just like the Bible. Nobody can take away my inner peace when that thing is lit! My husband has decided that we shall have a tree of inner peace up YEAR ROUND. So, when you come visit me in April and the tree is still shining, you'll know what's up.

Photo #3: The ever-watchful Gingerbread man.

I'm sure you have heard of "Elf on the Shelf" by now. It is an epidemic (yes it is--I said it: an epidemic!) that is sweeping elementary schools and causing consternation within my home because I refuse to participate. Basically--you buy this kit that includes an Elf and a book. Elfie keeps a watchful eye on the behaviors and misbehaviors of the home's children and reports to the North Pole each night to tell Santa who's been naughty or nice. Each day the elf "moves" to a new spot and often causes a mess himself that the kids all get a big kick out of. It's all fine and innocent enough except I have enough going on in my life during the holidays without having to create a mess in the name of an Elf that will honestly creep the kids out. (Personally, I never liked that whole "He sees you when you're sleeping" gig... I remember waking up on Christmas night when I was a child, having to go to the bathroom WEALLY WEALLY bad...but being so afraid that I might see Santa during his annual stop at our home that I just "held it" all night!) But I digress.... SO--after much pleading and begging (because we are apparently the ONLY PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE AN ELF!!!MOM!!! FOR REAL!!!) my daughter has just made her own little "elf" game in the form of a construction paper Gingerbread man. She moves it to a new spot each day and threatens her little brother with the wrath of all things horribly un-Christmassy when he misbehaves....all because of the ever-watchful eye of the Gingerbread man.

Photo #4: Save the best for last!!!
I just had the best surprise! My brother and his family were traveling from ATL to KY today to bring home a friend from the Ukraine for a few weeks and I got a call that they were passing through Nashville and WOULD I LIKE TO MEET THEM FOR LUNCH!!! Would I?!? You bet!!! So I just got the best Christmas week 2011 surprise ever--a bonus visit with my sweet brother, sister-in-law, 5 nieces and nephews and their new friend Sveta! When we pulled up to Zaxby's (because that's just how fancy we get when feeding 10 children and 3 adults) and all the cousins poured out of the restaurant (narrowly avoiding a drive-thru demise!) to pour our the hugs and high fives, I honestly got tears in my eyes. In the famous and oft-spoken words of my big sister: I just love my family.

Sonic Boy

2011-12-19T12:00:00.000-06:00

I love Sonic. But not the food...just the drinks. But not all the drinks...just the Large or Route 44 Diet Coke with Vanilla, easy ice. (mediums and smalls don't taste the same--I mean it...for real.)

If I am driving anywhere near the vicinity of a Sonic before 10:00 am (99 cent large drinks!) or between 2-4 pm (Happy Hour! 1/2 price drinks!), my van has a magnetic draw to the drive-in. Some of my friends say I have a "Sonic Sense"--like Spiderman's Spidey-Sense that tingles.....well, I have a Sonic Sense that lets me know when a Sonic is nearby even if it's in a city I've never been to before. You should totally road trip with me--gotta see it to believe it!

Anyhow, apparently Sonic Sense is genetically passed down because my 4 year old Will has expressed similar characteristics/traits and I couldn't be more proud. UNTIL....

Recently we were driving on I-65 toward Costco when he was in TEARS over not going to Sonic. (It was after 10am/before 2pm....otherwise known as "Sonic-is-dead-to-me" time.) His life was in SHAMBLES....all he wanted was a POWERADE SLUSHIE!!!!! PLEASE!!!! (insert tears....crying....moaning....you get the idea...) Well, we happened to be passing the backside of a Sonic on the otherside of the highway.

After that much emotional wear & tear and in a moment of potentially bad parenting (probably my first such moment of the week...), I said, "Fine!!! Unbuckle your seat belt. Climb up front. Open the side van door. Jump out of the moving vehicle. Roll down the hill. Climb that highway fence. and JUST. GO. TO. SONIC."

He stopped crying immediately and said, "MOM! don't be ridiculous!!! I don't even have any money or coupons."

Christmas: A Season of Thanks & other randomness

2011-12-13T16:52:00.000-06:00

Things I'm thankful for this Christmas season:
1. Chocolate covered Christmas treats
2. Cookie Swaps
3. Cranberry Margaritas at the new Vanderbilt Chuy's
AND....
4. Spanx

In other news:
I want off the merry-go-round!! The last week of school before Christmas break is NUTS. Every. single. year. If you have school-aged children, I'm sure your schedule looks a little something like this:
Monday 9am-1pm: 2nd grade field trip to Traveller's Rest Plantation
Monday 8:00-9:30 pm: Middle School Band Concert
Tuesday 9:15 am: 2nd grade Christmas program
Tuesday 12:00 pm: Women's Ministry Planning Meeting
Wednesday: NOTHING. Don't call me--I'm not answering the cell tomorrow.
Thursday 10:00 am: preschool Christmas program; middle school teacher's luncheon
Friday 8:30-11:30: 2nd grade holiday party; 5th grade party--send chocolate covered pretzels; don't forget teacher and bus driver gifts.

Add to these "special events" (which--let's face it....when they're all crammed into the same week, the special-ness seems to fade...): the normal carpooling, Sunday School teaching, laundrying, cooking, parenting/wifeing/familying/neighborlynessing duties and I can only say that I want off the merry-go-round!

I will get my chance to get off this merry go round in just a few days....school gets out at 11:30 on Friday and they are mine-all-mine for the next 19 days. YOWZA.

At that point, I will begin subjecting my children to bad jokes 24-7... For instance, this morning John came downstairs wearing a red shirt and khaki pants. (You know--the Target employee uniform). Every time somebody wears that combination....well, I. cannot. resist. asking. them: "what time does your shift start?" "Sir, can you help me locate the batteries and lightbulbs?" "Do you happen to carry vacuum cleaner bags for an upright Dirt Devil?" Or some other random Target-stock-related question. This is perhaps the most overused "joke" in my repertoire...it only gets an eye roll these days. I tried SO HARD to not make the "joke" this morning, but well...."Excuse me, can you help me locate the anti-diarrheal medications??" (You may be wondering just exactly who IS the middle schooler in my house after reading this last paragraph.)

And on that note....Merry Christmas!

A Ninja for Christmas

2011-12-08T18:50:00.001-06:00

See if you can spot the Christmas Ninja....

Doorbusting on what shall forever now be called "Red Thursday"

2011-11-26T19:57:00.001-06:00

I, like so many of you, I imagine, was completely appalled by the fact that so many stores were open ON Thanksgiving Day this year. Initially, some stores announced that they would open at midnight and I thought that was crazy....but then that seemed sane & smart compared to the announcement by Old Navy, Big Lots, K-Mart, and a few others that they would actually be open all day on Thanksgiving Day.

I thought it was completely un-American! How could they?!? Think of the workers! They don't get to be with their families on Thanksgiving Day! OH, THE NERVE!!!

So, you can imagine my surprise when I found myself in a car with 4 others on our way to Big Lots and K-Mart at 7:00 on Thanksgiving Night.

I know what you're thinking--"oh there must've been an emergency and somebody got sick and you needed Sprite and Saltines." Nope. "Well, then--peer pressure got the best of you, Ellen. The others weren't standing for the same values that you were and you succumbed to their evil plan to make people work on Thanksgiving Day."

Um, I don't know how to say this, but....it was actually my idea. I just wanted to get out of the house. We'd been looking at the circulars all day & mapping out a Black Friday plan. Couple that with my serious Kohl's-Black-Friday-prices-online-Thursday SCORE (A $250 pre-lit Christmas tree for $65...plus KOHL'S CASH!!!) and I just caught Black Friday Fever and couldn't possibly wait a few more hours to get it going.

So, around 6:30 on Thanksgiving Night, myself along with 4 female family members loaded into the car and headed out. We're not completely heartless, though--all 5 of us did have an internal struggle about the shopping.

Note the time on the clock...it's 6:38PM

Here are a few of the quotes from the trip to our first stop: BIG LOTS (oh, do we have class!!!)

"My heart is saying no...but my wallet is saying yes."

"We are actually being pro American -- it's for the good of our country to stimulate the economy on the most American holiday!"

"We aren't doing anything wrong...we're just walking thru the doors that have been opened for us."

"We are so so opposed to this--like 100% opposed to this. But the employees will be there whether we show up tonight or not. So we may as well go and make it worth their while. We'll even wish them a 'Happy Thanksgiving!' "

"I'm going to really weigh my decisions about what to buy...not going to buy things willy nilly."

Who can resist the siren call from The Big Lots WALL OF EXTREME VALUES!!!

Everything was just peachy at Big Lots and we had gotten over our guilt until we were checking out at the very end. My sister-in-law asked the cashier if she had a good day and if she got to spend anytime with her family.... Her answer? NOPE. They were going to have to celebrate another day because she had to work. The manager then came over to get involved and add to the conversation. AND I QUOTE: "If more people would've stayed home today, we probably wouldn't have to be open next year on Thanksgiving."

Boy, did she know how to knock the wind out of our proverbial sails! We felt like Thanksgiving had just become RED THURSDAY....the minute we handed over the green to pay for our wares, we had blood on our hands.

YOWZA! Did we ever feel bad! We felt so bad that I made this terribly scary face on our way into K-Mart. (What? You didn't think we actually went home after the Big Lots manager made us feel guilty, did you?!?)

K-mart was a hive of activity--lots of workers and everybody seemed just thrilled to have people stop by. There were plenty of people out shopping and it made us feel a little less-dirty for breaking tradition and not waiting until Friday to celebrate Black Friday. All in all, it was a good experience and we shopped until we dropped....or until they kicked us out at 9:00 to prepare for the REAL Black Friday...

To my partners in crime: 'Til next year, girls--it was a blast & I can't say that I learned my lesson or that I'd never do it again...

Thanksgiving: what it all boils down to...

2011-11-23T08:31:00.001-06:00

First things first....HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! We had all the typical crafts make their way home to us this year from the three schools.... We've got hand-print traced turkeys, cone shaped teepees, pilgrim & Indian stickers on a landscape...and so much more. (Feels like I'm perpetually drowning in arts & crafts over here, people!) Anyway, Maddy brought her main project home from school this week and it was too good to keep to myself!

Introducing...."My Thankful Pouch." Included are a series of cards that state what she is thankful for. We have the expected "I am thankful for my family...I am thankful for my home..." type of sentiments, but I snapped a few pics of the standout cards. Feel free to use these as inspiration for when you come up short during your family's feast/time of thankfulness. And never, ever forget this most important profound thought: "WITHOUT THE SUN & EARTH, WE COULD NOT LIVE."

I need clothing to live. I like my new shoes.

I am thankful for me. Without Sun & Earth We could not live.

Plants give us food and oxygen. I love my cosins [cousins].

I have freedom. Freedom is when you can say things that you want to say. We need electricity to see.

60 seconds with a four year old

2011-11-21T15:48:00.001-06:00

This was our conversation at a single red stoplight the other morning on my way to the Y:

"Mama. Mom. Mom? Do you know what's in your head? It's a brain. Mama. Do you know what's inside Lightning McQueen's car? Nothing. Mama. Do you know how I say Amen? I say it like this: AMEN. Mama? Do you know how babies say Amen? They say it like this: amen. Mama? Do you remember when I was two? I used to be two. Do you remember when I was two? How did I say Amen when I was two? Mama? Did you know there is a Lightning McQueen toy that has eyes that move? Mama. Did you know that I'm going to be five at my next birthday? Mama. Do you want to play Zhu Zhu pets with me today? Mama. Can you turn up the radio? Mama. Do you know how much I love you? So much."

:)

Apparently, when he's not busy talking, he's also a photojournalist, documenting his days on my ipod touch. Here is a small sampling of his latest photographic works....There wasn't enough bandwidth to post all the pictures on my camera roll here.

Check your local cable listings before you clean your house

2011-11-20T15:36:00.001-06:00

This is the part of my blog in which I become overwhelmed with the state of my house.

I had planned to start decorating for Christmas yesterday and I got my kids all pumped up for the momentous occasion:

Moi: "Who wants to decorate for Christmas today?!?!?!?!"

Offspring: "MEEEE!!!!" "Me Me Me Me!" "I wanna decorate for Christmas! I can't wait!" "Score!"

Moi: "OK then...here's what we need to do: YOU, there, boy--take out the trash. Daughter: pick up all your coats! [editorial note--she has jackets aplenty so it really IS an overwhelming task] Puzzle boy: PUT THE PUZZLES AWAY. ALL OF THEM."

Offspring: "Ummm....errrr, actually, we aren't all that interested in decorating for Christmas. In fact, if cleaning is involved as a precursor to decorating we'd just rather not celebrate Christmas this year..."

So, we didn't. Instead, I accidentally fell asleep. I like to say it happened on accident, but if I'm going to be completely honest, I may or may not have employed the use of ear plugs and room darkening shades....so "intentional napping" might be a more accurate description of what went on, but it makes me feel better when I think of leaving my equally exhausted husband on an unexpected solo parenting journey for the entire afternoon. So there. I accidentally took a very long winter's nap. With ear plugs.

All that to say, we didn't decorate for Christmas, but in light of the fact that I got a mid-day phone call from hubs who had invited some friends over to watch the Vandy/UT game at 6pm, I made the kids pick up the WRECK of a bonus room....by bribing them with cookie dough. Oh yes I did. Now, I know what you're thinking: "bribe your kids? for cleaning up THEIR mess? How dare you!" Don't judge, people...don't judge... you do what you gotta do sometimes when the impromptu football viewing party is less than 1 hour away from commencing at your home.

What's REALLY funny about all of this is that my husband did not happen to check what channel this game was on. We have a pretty hefty cable channel load, but apparently not as hefty as required for watching this particular game. VU/UT was on ESPNU and ESPN 3D.

Good news: we have ESPN3D!
Bad news: We don't have a 3D TV
Bad news: we don't have ESPNU...
Good news: our best next door neighbors do!
Bad news: they don't give one rip about VU or UT
Good news: they are good enough friends to let a party of 12 crash in their bonus room. (We owe you big time K & V!)

All that last minute scurrying and cleaning occurred just so we could fix a plate of food and walk next door to the neighbors house.

That said: Less than 24 hours ago, my house was clean...picked up...organized, even! Because we entertained last night (lets use the term "entertained" loosely...it involved bags of salad, frozen pizza and pre-mixed cookies that require an egg & a cup of oil). Therefore, I had a lovely, clean, picked up, organized home as I'm prone to when we "entertain" (again--use the term very, very loosely).

We then spent the entire evening next door, followed by a morning at church. Do the math and realize that we have now been in our house for about 4 hours of actual usage time and it is a WRECK.

3 puzzles + 2 types of Legos + Pretzel and triscuit crumbs + Little People (the Fisher Price toys AND actual little people) + Hot Wheels = ONE BIG HOT MESS

What football season means to me

2011-11-19T13:57:00.001-06:00

Going to his very first football game--he was so excited!

My fabulous family--all 5 of us kids are UK grads!

Krispy Kreme FOOTBALL donuts!

Coloring to pass the time during a VERY long football game

scalping tickets! We got 19 tickets total for $120...pretty sweet deal!

smooching when your team scores or makes a great play (this couple was VERY supportive of Vanderbilt in this department)

Swinging on a handicap swing with your cousin

enjoying a coke & a donut with your favorite #1 cousin

A House Divided: the Cats vs. the Commodores

2011-11-11T13:03:00.000-06:00

This weekend is big. HUGE. Massive. It's positively monumental for our household. It is the weekend when the powerhouse football team from the University of Kentucky (my alma mater!) comes to Nashville to challenge another powerhouse in college football: the Vanderbilt Commodores (Michael's alma mater!).

Now, let's just stop for a minute. If you know even the slightest bit about college football, you'll quickly realize what a ridiculous string of sentences that first paragraph holds. Neither team has EVER been described as a powerhouse when it comes to football (not in my lifetime, anyways). However, we are going to act like it's a big deal...complete with a tailgate attended by my fellow favorite UK grads (my ENTIRE family...no really--my entire family) and a few local friends.

Let me be absolutely clear about something: there are only about two reasons that I've ever gone to a football game. One is to impress a guy. Well, guess what: I already got the guy. I'm married now so that excuse ended when I got married 3 weeks after college graduation 13 years ago. The other reason is to TAILGATE. If you provide the food, I will go.

So, that's what we will do! Tomorrow morning, a caravan of huge UK fans (about 11 of my family members) will make their way down I-65 to join us in a little pre-game munchfest followed by a quick scurry around Vanderbilt's campus to buy tickets from a scalper. We'll go into the game where I will most likely be reading a magazine or a cookbook and chasing Will around the bleachers. There may or may not be some first downs, touch downs, flags on the play, field goals, facemasking, penalties, and quarterback sacking....but I'll never know.

I'm just here for the party.

Cupcake journal: the ultimate DNA test

2011-11-10T12:37:00.001-06:00

I was cleaning up my daughter's room recently and came across something that positively delighted me: her Cupcake Journal. Oh, what's that? You mean you don't have a Cupcake Journal? Well, as you probably suspect, (obviously) it is a little notebook that has a cupcake on the front.

What you might not expect, however, is that it's her own special place to journal about all the cupcakes she has eaten. Yes, really. There were three entries so far and each one chronicled a few details and finer points of the last few cupcakes she has eaten. She even went so far as to rate the cupcakes.

If I ever wanted pure proof that she truly, really, absolutely, 100% is the child that I gave life to and is not the product of a horrible hospital "switched at birth" situation... This would be all the proof that I need. My daughter keeps a chronicle of her cupcakes. (Genius! I SO wish I'd thought of it first!)

Oh, the best part of all: remember those über healthy banana muffins I made on Sunday? Those made the cut! And if you wanted to know what a kid who loves cupcakes thought of my flax seed/whole wheat flour muffins....well, she rated them "the best!" Told you they were good....

Rhythm is Gonna Get You

2011-11-08T13:23:00.000-06:00

I was just reading a blog post by Boomama as she was traveling through the Miami airport when she expressed how surprised she was that she hadn't run into Gloria Estefan yet. It reminded me of a little situation I handled a few years back with a healthy dose of Gloria.

I had been receiving quite a few prank calls from the same phone number. Sometimes they would just sit there silently; sometimes they would ask for someone. Other times, they'd just laugh. This happened a couple times a day for a few weeks and I was just fed up with it all. Most of the time I ignored the calls....but after they would call back about 10 times in an hour, I would answer in a moment of weakness and demand that they stop calling.

TO. NO. AVAIL.

SO....something just came over me one day--I picked up the phone and just sang. At the top of my lungs. What did I sing? You guessed it: "Rhythm is gonna get you."

"OH EH OH EH....... OH EH OH AAH....."

I sang it--loud. Proud. With an little Spanish-y flair, even.

That ended the prank calls that day.....but the next day they called back and I said:

"1-2-3-4 Come on baby say you love me....5-6-7 times...."

Apparently, that song does not have the power to stop a prank caller, so they called back. I pulled out an old trick:

"OH EH OH EH....OH EH OH AAH...."

And that was it....for that day.

Third time's a charm, I suppose because on Day 3 of my Gloria Estefan Prank Caller Awareness Program (GEPCAP), they called. I answered. "OH EH OH EH! Rhythm is gonna get you....." And they hung up and never called me again.

Some people suggest blocking a phone number to get a prank caller to cease.

I suggest warming up your vocal chords, picking an artist (feel free to use Gloria's songbook) and serenading your caller.

"I don't want to lose you now.........."

Early bird gets the muffin

2011-11-06T08:34:00.000-06:00

5:11 a.m. That's what time my 4 year old was up this morning. Dang time change.... I knew this was coming!

Anyhow, as the old saying goes, when life hands you ripe bananas and an extra hour in the day, you make banana muffins! However...I am trying to lose about 5 pounds before the holidays start, so I had to make these HEALTHY and DELICIOUS and that, my friends, is what they are! I'll include the recipe below...

Here's how I spent the first lovely hours of ~~daylight~~ darkness this morning:

I *think* these are ready to be mashed.... ;)

Note the time on the clock: 6:44 AM I'd already been up for an hour and a half, people!
also....using whole wheat flour and flax seed! Don't be afraid...your kids will never know....they are incredibly tasty!

Kitchen Tip #243: use an ice cream scoop to put batter into the muffin pan. No mess! Perfectly portioned! I'm so excited!!!!

Batch 1 out of the oven by 7:22 AM. I have a group of eager taste testers at the ready.

YUM. I made a double batch so we are going to be snacking on these for a while. They freeze well...put them in a ziplock baggie and pull them out one at a time--defrost in the microwave for about 30 seconds and you have a warm HEALTHY muffin to snack on!

HEALTHY BANANA CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFINS

2 ripe bananas, mashed

2 eggs, beaten

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup applesauce

1 tsp vanilla

1 3/4 cup whole wheat flour

1/2 cup flax seed (milled)

2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 cup chocolate chips (optional)

Combine flour, flax seed, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt in a large mixing bowl.

In a separate bowl, stir together the bananas, eggs, brown sugar, applesauce, and vanilla.

Add wet ingredients to the flour mixture--a little at a time. Stir until combined. Fold in chocolate chips.

Bake at 375 for about 15 minutes.

yield: 18 muffins

Source: K Mickelsen, M Douthit

Time change...and just how silent is a cemetery?

2011-11-05T10:22:00.000-05:00

Saturday mornings!!! Love them....for now, anyways--we are getting ready to start our youth basketball season (2 kids on 2 different teams will positively EAT UP your Saturdays!) which leads right into youth baseball/softball season, so our chill Saturdays are about to go away until June. Wah wah wah. Anyhow, it is 10:00 in the morning and I'm still in my PJ's drinking a little Diet Coke and enjoying the pace of sleeping until 7:00 and then staying in bed until 8:00 just because I can.

It's all about to change.

Tonight.

Daylight Savings goes bye-bye. :(

I wasn't dreading it too bad until I was re-reading some vintage "Welcometomyblog" from a few years back.....apparently I came up with a few reasons why I strongly dislike setting the ol' clocks back.

Reason #93

Reason #82

Reason #46

Some people really buy into this whole "extra hour of sleep" gimmick....but I've not seen benefit of that in several years. I've always had early bird children and they don't seem to mind what the clock says. For instance, my child who is finally (FINALLY!) finally sleeping consistently until 6:30 or 7:00 am (after years of 5:45 am, we're so grateful!!!)....well, 6:30 will be 5:30 tomorrow morning and we'll start this cycle all over again. Wah wah wah.

Alright, that's it for your friendly reminder about setting the clocks back tonight. I can't end on a down-note...so I'll just say that strep throat has now been banished from my house and pneumonia has been all but squashed! Things are looking up after a very long week at home with sick peeps. (Here's how bad things got: I was so desperate to get out of the house last night BY MYSELF that when Michael got home from work, I left to go running. In a cemetery. At dusk. By myself. I was SO desperate for some alone time that I couldn't even make myself walk into the gym to get my workout! I wanted to be in a spot where there was no shot that anybody would talk to me. FYI: a cemetery is good for that.)

Friday Linky Loo 11.4.2011

2011-11-04T14:27:00.001-05:00

Here's what I've been reading this week that I thought was worthy of passing along:

1. Stuff Christians Like: The 5 types of Nursery Workers

This is a funny look at the different people you might find working "behind the scenes" with your children at church on Sunday. I most definitely fall into category #1. Let's face it: if you're a parent, you're doing children's ministry 24/7/365. I absolutely cherish the Sundays I don't have to work in the nursery (or be a greeter or pick up the donuts or etc etc etc...what can I say---we go to a young church plant! All hands on deck...) But I know I must do it because, well, I have 3 kids using the children's ministry facilities and staff each Sunday, so I gotta pitch in!

2. Boomama's 2011 Christmas Music List

I mentioned in my last post that I am going all out for Christmas decor this year. While my decorating "oomph" has plummeted over the last years of childrearing, my Christmas music listening has skyrocketed! Check out her list of music to tune into this year. I second her recommendation for Dave Barnes' album that came out last year. Simply marvelous...and not just because he does a cover of the all time greatest Christmas pop tune of all time: "Mariah Carey: All I want for Christmas is YOU." The whole album is great...but particularly that track! Listen and love it.

3. Cakewrecks: Cardinals World Series tribute cakes

Congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals on their World Series victory! If you are wanting to get a cake to celebrate the big win...don't go to any of the bakeries featured on the Cakewrecks blog.

That's it for today. It's been quite a week: I have one child with pneumonia; one with strep throat and another headed to a sleepover in just a few hours....Needless to say....The Redbox: it is our friend.

Take back the holiday

2011-11-02T20:33:00.003-05:00

Christmas: you may as well go ahead and surrender now...because you're MINE, all mine this year.

It's been 10 1/2 years of babies, toddlers, and children who weren't under any type of voice control and now I'm back baby, and I'm better than ever!

What in the world am I talking about? Just what exactly does Christmas have to do with disobedient toddlers?

It's simple: This year, I can actually decorate for the holidays again!!! It's been a LONG time. Like I said, 10 years ago, I had a baby...then I had another one and yet one more....and that last "one more" is now FOUR and I'm thinking it's time to break out the Christmas cheer with a little more than homemade/school made/Dollar Store ornaments. Not that there's anything wrong with that....

I've got LOADS of ideas...been pouring through the magazines that arrived on November 1 with decorating ideas aplenty....

I've also decided I'm going to decorate early & often....Like a friend of mine said, it's an awful lot of trouble to go to for only one month...Go big or go home, I say!

Deck the halls with boughs of holly. O Christmas tree...O Christmas tree...how lovely your branches will be with my color-coordinated and themed "MAMA's tree".... I'll have a kids' tree that they can go to town on and throw tinsel all over if they want....but then, there's going to be a mama tree and what a tree it will be!!!

Here are a few snapshots of the Lowe's Idea book that has inspired this post...

If you have any great ideas or new ways to decorate, let me know!!!

The Gunshot Wound: a story of violence and redemption and violence

2011-10-28T16:20:00.007-05:00

I'm not afraid of a lot of things, but there are a few items I'm quite nervous about:

Snakes
Guns
Snakes wielding guns

Last weekend, I found myself at a friends' inlaws' cabin near Monteagle. It was a weekend filled with all things BEAUTIFUL, SERENE, PEACEFUL, and GUN. What? Oh yes, there were guns....and I'm not talking about anybody's biceps.

I've never held a gun more powerful than a super-soaker, so when the host asked me if I'd like to fire a gun, I vehemently declined. No way, no how. A little later, we rode four-wheelers. We sang twangy country music. We got a little red in the country, if you know what I mean. At that point, I figured, "why not shoot a gun? When else am I going to have the opportunity??" So, bolstered by the courage I found by learning to drive a four-wheeler, I spat out the following words as fast as my brain could form them: "IWANTTOSHOOTAGUN." There. I said it. The plan was set into action.

Our friend went into the house, got a pistol, and did a little Gun 101 demonstration.

I was so nervous I was pacing back and forth....sweating....anxious as all get-out. But I was going to do it. No stopping me now...

He loaded a single bullet into the cartridge. I loaded the cartridge into the gun. Click. After a few tries, I finally managed to pull the thing back that makes it ready to shoot (my gun-lingo still needs a tutorial...) It wasn't that it was hard or heavy to pull back...I just knew that once I cocked it, I would be past the point of no return. I was still a shaking, nervous wreck...afraid I might misfire or something, I told Michael & our friends several times "STAY BACK!!! Don't come near me!!!!" to which my dear husband replied: "Don't worry--we're WAY more nervous about you wielding a gun than you are..."

Ready. Aim. FIRE.

BANG!!! I shot a paper plate about 15 feet away.

Well, I guess more accurately I should say I aimed at a paper plate about 15 feet away. I'm sure I actually shot a leaf or tree trunk in the nearby vicinity.

Nonetheless, I DID IT!!! However....here's a little tidbit of information I was unaware of: when you shoot a bullet, there is a casing or shell-like particle that is HOT...as in burning like fire...that is discarded from the chamber. This particular bullet shell flew up into the air. As we all know, what goes up, must come down--and when it came down, it went down my shirt and into my, er... um...ahem, "top undergarment"--yes...into my shirt where it proceeded to burn a very delicate part of my body...if you know what I mean. And when I say burned, I mean, it actually burned a blister in the exact shape of the casing and is still there one week later.

Readers--I am a gunshot wound survivor. Let that soak in for a moment.....and I'll say it again: I have a gunshot wound.

Oh, there will be a scar. You can bet the farm on that....but what a cool scar to have!!! I've never had stitches or broken any bones in my whole life....but I have a scar from a gunshot wound! :)

So, there ends the story of violence. Let me end this with the redemption part of my story:

After I recovered from the violence inflicted by my gunshot wound, I had our friend load the gun up with 8 more bullets and I fired off all 8 in a quick succession and may or may not have finally hit the paper plate target.

I faced my fears. I got a gunshot wound but I did didn't let it stop me from getting back in the saddle and firing a gun again.

So, you may be wondering what I learned from all this and here's what I have imagined as the added benefit of being able to shoot a gun and drive a four-wheeler:

Picture this with me: one day, I may find myself in hand-to-hand combat with a bad guy. When that day comes, I will chop kick bad guys' hand and knock the gun out of it. We will both be scrambling on the ground knowing that the first one to the gun wins. Well, that will be me. And I will know how to properly load, cock, aim, and shoot the bad guy and after I do...I will speed off on a four-wheeler. Hasta la vista, baby!

So, it has been a little while...

2011-10-28T14:16:00.013-05:00

I'm not going to make any big apologies other than to say there is a VERY good reason I haven't updated ye olde bloggethness in over 2 years. I'll be able to explain it better in pictures.

When I started this blog, here's what our family looked like:

Notice the youngest little dude and his immobility. It was a lovely, lovely stage of development. But, as healthy babies are prone to do, they do indeed evolve into movers and shakers. Some become more "mover" than "shaker". This particular young lad would most definitely land on the "more" side of both the movers and and the shakers growth chart. Let's take a little photographic tour....

So, THIS....

turned into THIS.....

which turned into THIS...

....THIS...

THIS...

And THIS...

If you have any question about where the last two years of my life have gone, I could sum it up undoubtedly by saying I have been saving lives....one life in particular....and it's been well worth it, but BOY am I glad to have celebrated his 4th birthday!

D-D-D-D-D-Dora the Explorer!!!

2009-09-21T13:05:00.000-05:00

Will is smitten....completely, unabashedly in love with Dora the Explorer. He can't get enough of that girl. He wakes up talking about her and goes to bed talking about her. He talks about her when he eats breakfast, lunch and dinner. In fact, that is pretty much the only show he will watch. Oh, he'll trick you a little bit and make you think he's going to settle in for an episode of Elmo's World, but it's all a lie. He only has eyes and ears for Dora.

At night when I try to sing him a lullaby, he demands (oh yes he does) that I sing "I'm the Map" instead. I kid you not. He will be a snuggly and as soon as I start to sing something soft & soothing, he raises his head off my shoulder and says (LOUDLY I might add) "I'M MAP. I'M MAP."

We also have a Dora soundtrack CD left over from Maddy's toddler years that he discovered one day. Guess what we have to listen to in the car as we travel to & fro? Yep. (Oh yes we do.)

It's really not a problem....except that ALL the Dora toys & accessories are geared toward little girls. I went to buy him some new sippy cups recently (do those disappear like socks in a dryer at your house too?) and thought I'd delight him with a new Dora cup......but they were all pink and purple. Diego cups it is, then.

Oh, yes, we've tried to get him interested in Diego.....but to no avail. Only Dora will do.

Michael and I have embraced this and are comfortable with letting the saga continue (we'll do anything to keep this busy baby entertained for an entire half hour). His older brother and sister, however, are concerned and have all but demanded for this episode in Will's development to cease.

For instance, Will's birthday is in a week and I am planning to get the boy a Dora cake. I mean, really--if you can't have a Dora cake for your 2nd birthday, when can you? Can I get a witness?

Both John and Maddy are trying hard to get me to go with a Plan B.

"Will LOVES Elmo, mom. Don't you Will?!? Tell mommy that you want an Elmo cake!"

"Mom, Will told me this morning that he really doesn't like Dora anymore and that he would actually be embarrassed if you got him a Dora cake because he is a boy and boys aren't supposed to like girl toys and all the Dora toys are pink and purple and not blue and boys should like blue toys and cakes so that's why Will told me when he woke up that he shouldn't get a Dora cake. He told me to tell you this." This was from 5 year old Maddy in the car on the way to the Y this morning.

I don't care what they say. It's my baby's 2nd birthday and if he wants to celebrate his cumpleaños felices with a senorita named Dora and her monkey Boots....then that's what we're going to do!

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is...

2009-09-19T13:21:00.005-05:00

A few years ago my brother Keith and his wife Holly came to Nashville to babysit our kids while we went to Atlanta for Michael's office Christmas party. I bought them a subscription to "Runners World" as part of their thank you gift (I think we also got them a gift card to a restaurant or something like that).

Since I am a bit of a cheapskate at times, I googled "discount magazine subscriptions" and found 1 year of RW for $5.00. Great deal, right?!? I mean, I bet you have probably already left this page in search of more discount magazine subscriptions.

CAVEAT: here's what I just discovered when I logged into my old google account a moment ago:

______________________________________
Date

Dec 13, 2006

Shipping Status

Not yet shipped

Qty

1 Runner's World - (Terms:One Year - 12 Issues,Subscription)

Price: $4.99
______________________________________

Really?!? Not yet shipped? It's been 3 years. What the heck?

I vaguely remember asking Keith if he ever received it and he would mumble something to the effect of "I'm not really sure....what was on the cover of the last issue.....I think we did, but I'm pretty sure we didn't......"

I'd like to now extend my utmost apologies to a dear brother....seriously--I owe you a subscription to RW!

The old adage rings true once again--if it sounds too good to be true....well, you know....

We'll call this one "Freewrite"

2009-09-11T11:49:00.002-05:00

Here's a little catch up post for you. I've actually gotten back into the blog swing again this week, but they've mostly been child-related metaphors and anecdotes. Or just stories about my kids if you're not all fancy like me with your literary terms.

Anyhow. we are super busy. This is our first year to play Fall Baseball for John and his dad is the coach which brings with it a certain level of.....oh, I don't know what you'd call it, but I'll give it a whirl and say....a certain level of conflict. It's a kid-pitch season and John has never played kid-pitch. However, as you may have already guessed, he believes that he possesses a heavenly gift for the mound though he's never pitched before in his life. So, when his dad broke the news to him that he wasn't going to be pitching the first game of the season, it was not received with open arms. This season is going to be useful in helping him learn to handle disappointment, I suppose.

Two kids in school and one toddler at home has been a good thing for me so far! I still have a list a mile long of projects I'd been saving for this very moment....hoping to get cracking on that. I canceled my house cleaner (join me in a moment of silence as I mourn this loss....) because I do find that I have some "extra" time and also Will is going to Mother's Day Out on Thursdays. But still....there are all those things in the storage room/attic that I want to put in the YMCA consignment sale next week; computer desk to put on Craigslist; couch to put on Craigslist; need to go to KY to pick up couch from my parents (they're moving to a new place and we benefit greatly!); thinking about finishing off the storage room to make a bedroom for John (where the heck will I put all that "STUFF" that's in there now?!); throw in a lot of laundry, baseball and dance to taxi the kids to, PTA obligations, dinner to cook, workouts to sweat through......well, it all adds up.

However, if there's anything I've learned through the years, someway, somehow, it all gets done! I've been here before and I don't know how it happens, but all those things will get marked off my list.

OK--enough with the serious. It's going to be a full weekend--Maddy is going to see Thomas the Train tomorrow with Mimi, then to a birthday party. Michael has a baseball coach's clinic for a couple hours tomorrow as well. Then Sunday we will, once again, celebrate my 29th birthday!! ;o)

The Bus Cusser

2009-09-10T16:22:00.000-05:00

Aaaahhhhh....the purity and innocence of my 5 year old girl.....

Yesterday they ran off the school bus frantic because somebody had written a bad word on the bus. That's right....the bane of our existence has hit right here in our little neighborhood school: the Bus Cusser. I was a little worried about which word it was that was apparently plastered on the back of one of the seats and THANKFULLY, when I asked Maddy what it was, she replied....

"....well, I can't say it. It's just too bad to even speak."

I asked her to just whisper it to me softly in my ear so Will wouldn't hear it and she finally conceded to do it.

[whispering] "It said.......'stupid.' I'm sorry I had to tell you, mommy, but the word said 'stupid.' "

Now that is lovely and sweet and so hilarious that I had to bite my tongue not to laugh out loud, but the truth is that there actually was a "bad word" written on the back of a seat and so later when I asked John what it said, he spelled it out for me.... and THANKFULLY, though it was a bad word, it was spelled wrong. So he's still none the wiser on this particular verbage. [Whew! Another bullet dodged.]

So, to sum it all up, not only is the Bus Cusser a touch on the juvenile delinquent side...in a way Maddy was right. He may also be [I'm whispering now] "stupid."

Marketing Ideas

2009-09-09T15:16:00.001-05:00

If you have a product to market to the American public and need a focus group, please consider using the people in our home. Here are a few of the conversations we've had lately:

John: "Mom, next time you go to the store, can you buy Colgate Total Plus Whitening? I've heard it's the most recommended toothpaste by dentists and that's what we should be using."

John: "Mom, you really ought to think about switching paper towel brands. There's this one brand out there, Bounty I think, and it only takes one towel to clean up a HUGE spill while the other brand on the commercial took about 5 or 6 and it was still a big mess."

My mother: "I love those Travelers Insurance commercials with the red umbrella and the guy flying all around the city! I love that commercial so much that I'd buy Traveler's Insurance even if they didn't have the lowest price, (which they do, by the way.)"

President Obama's Speech, according to a 5 year old

2009-09-08T17:12:00.005-05:00

Maddy, did you listen to the president's speech today?

"Yes. President Obama talked about having failures and not failing anymore and remembering your failures. His wife did some failing too. But now they don't fail anymore. People shouldn't fail. Then he said to think about the times you fail. If you fail, you should try next time to not fail."

I guess I should be glad that she is no longer failing to call him by his correct name....remember when he was O'Bracka?

A trip to KY for birthday fun

2009-09-07T13:25:00.004-05:00

Well, it's September, and if you know me at all, you know that with the turning of August's calendar page, we enter into a month-long fest of cake, presents and cake. Did I mention that we eat a lot of cake during September? Because we do. Eat a lot of cake, that is.

This weekend we went to KY for a joint-celebration of my brother (David) and my sister-in-law's (Holly) birthdays. They both turn 30 in a few weeks, so mom put together a celebration like none other to ring in a new decade for these two.

Holly had been inspired by the viral youtube video of the wedding entrance dance a couple weeks ago and decided to put together a little birthday dance routine of her own. She & her friend Jennifer spliced together about 10 songs from the '90s and storyboarded out some choreography (it looked like a football playbook, so I hear). Last minute, I was recruited to participate....which was so difficult for me because I am REALLY shy. (I kid, oh, how I kid!) But, you know how it goes...anything for the birthday girl, right?

The best laid plans, however well planned they may be, sometimes go awry, though, you know? Guy Dancer #1 came down with the flu; Guy Dancer #2 was in a car wreck the night before and showed up late to the party so he couldn't "rehearse" with us; and of course I was a somewhat last minute addition, so I learned my steps in the parking lot behind the dumpsters about 10 minutes before we were "on."

Nonetheless, we pulled out all the stops as we MC Hammered, Vanilla Iced, Michael Jackson'd (R.I.P.), Cotton-Eyed Joed, and N'Sync'd our way through some stellar dance moves.

And heaven help me if the video footage of this little ditty ever shows up on youtube...

So we are now 2 birthdays down, and about 4 to go!

I turn 29 again on Sunday, followed by my mother-in-law, then Michael's and finally Will's 2nd birthday round us off for the month.

Why I'm Failing Kindergarten

2009-08-24T14:13:00.003-05:00

Blast it all, if I haven't already forgotten one of Maddy's assignments (6 days into the school year, mind you)!

The second day of school, she brought home a project called "Nifty Names." You are supposed glue small household items in the shape of the letters of your name to a piece of cardstock. Real scholarly stuff, I know. They gave us plenty of notice....I "filed" the paper away with other very important papers knowing, yes knowing, that I'd be sure to get that back out and work on it straightaway with the girl.

I just saw the paper on the kitchen counter with a great big "DUE AUGUST 24" stamped on top.

I am T-60 minutes until she gets off the school bus and I'm dreading it already. She is total Type-A personality and likes to have things done "just so" and on time and all that. I am prepared to be completely upbraided, in 5 yr old fashion, for not remembering to do the project.

Pray for me.

a quick post to show why it is difficult to blog these days

2009-08-20T08:39:00.004-05:00

There is a naked baby running around upstairs!

While I carefully composed my last entry just a few minutes ago, I obviously let the rest of the world fall away. I just looked upstairs into the bonus room to check on Will who was quietly watching Dora the Explorer....I discovered he'd been working diligently to disrobe his body the entire time. No wonder it was so quiet!!! I better get up there before I regret that he took his diaper off...

Alright, so my newfound re-interest in blogging will need to be restricted to naptime, huh?

[3-2-1, action]...."AND....we're back."

2009-08-20T08:03:00.005-05:00

Thanks for waiting so patiently for me while I pulled the good old fashioned 16 hour workdays of a stay-at-home mom in summer. Seriously. They didn't give me a break all summer. The 3 musketeers woke me up and they put me to bed.

Let's move forward from here, shall we?

This is the first full week of school and I now have a 3rd grader and a kindergartner. And it's lovely!!! They get on the bus at 7:25 and the bus brings them right back to me at 3:20. And it's lovely!!! Oh, how I love them--let me count the ways. But, let me also just say that I love the instution of education with almost as much zeal and passion. I don't know if I mentioned this yet this morning or not, but just in case....The School and the Bus: it's Lovely!!!

My neighbor Kirsten was outside this morning when I was shooing the kids down the street to the bus stop (it's 3 houses away). I guess I was getting a little overzealous about making sure they were down there ON TIME and in position because she totally called me out. "You seem a little overly intense about getting them to the bus stop, huh?" :o) But, she can only say that since she is equally excited about the institution of education as I am....(she's got 2 boys of her own, you know?!?)

I now have the nearly-2-year old at home, so my days are still full--which is why I thought there would be no tear shed on the first day of kindergarten for Maddy. (Will is still a big, busy handful!) I chuckled to myself that morning when I saw a mom leaving the school with her husband's arm around her while she sobbed. I sighed under my breath, "rookie mom..." and rolled my eyes just a little as I hurried my kids down the hallway to their classrooms. We got Maddy's stuff put away in her locker, found her name card at a table and she had no more popped the top open on her playdoh before my eyes were completely filled with tears! WHAT?!? Had somebody just sliced an onion or were my allergies acting up because I had no emotion about the starting of school prior to this moment! Well, I don't have allergies and there were no onions....which meant I was actually CRYING. I gave her a big hug, told Will to tell her goodbye (that was actually the saddest part for me because she and he are big buddies....she's his little mama!) and left as quickly as I could. I got to the parking lot before any real tears flowed...

The picture function thing is acting weird on this page right now--I'll have to post the rest of my pics later.

And I promise to attempt to write another blog post sometime before Maddy starts 1st grade...

If time were money...

2009-07-23T14:20:00.003-05:00

Yes, if time were money, I wouldn't have two minutes to rub together this summer.

Thus, the one-day-shy-of-a-month-long blog hiatus I've involuntarily taken.

And I really have no business being on here today other than I needed to post SOMETHING so that I can say I've never gone an entire month without blogging.

I miss you, blog. I really do. I can't tell you how many posts I have thought up in my head and how many backs of receipts have little notes written on them with blog ideas....but they never make it beyond the bottom of my purse or the back of my head.

So, now that we're in back-t0-school countdown mode, (3 weeks from tomorrow, but who's counting, right?) I had to just check in and say that I'll be back.

Vacation Post #1

2009-06-24T15:51:00.003-05:00

Flashback to June 2008. This might be my all-time favorite picture of my kids:

So, I decided it would be fitting to try to re-create the shot.

Fast forward to June 2009. I am even more thankful than ever for digital cameras where you're not limited to a certain number of shots. Here is a sampling of the photo shoot:

AND....at long last, here's the closest thing I got to the original. I'm glad you can't see their faces--you'd no doubt see a bit of anguish.

Ta Da! It might not be frame-worthy, but I finally got what I wanted!

The long overdue catch up post

2009-06-22T16:48:00.006-05:00

Catching up on the ol' blog here. Hang onto your hat. Here goes:

We returned from Destin on Saturday night and were downright exhausted. Remember last year? Well, this year was on the same track. We did the beach olympics, talent show, and also seemed to incorporate a shopping marathon into the mix as well. Last year, we stayed in Seagrove and Seacrest and you had to drive a good ways to the outlets so we didn't do so much shopping. This year, we were about 5-10 minutes away and it seemed like every few hours, somebody was going to the outlets. That carload would return with some major deals which would feed another trip to the outlets for somebody else. (If our family is any indication of the average American, go buy some stock in Banana Republic.)

Anyways, there'll be a whole other post on vacation when I get my camera back...it hitched a ride home in somebody else's vehicle and is in the mail on the way back here as I type...

So, today was my catch-up day. I climbed Mt. Laundry and have reached the summit. Now for the ironing. However, I cannot iron when Will is awake, so that rules out most of my day. That will have to wait until after the kids go to bed tonight. Which is just what I want to do at my first free minute tonight, right? Whip out the ol' Rowenta and start pressing.

I actually can't complain about my day--it started with golf lessons for John, then we got home at 10:30 and had a few hours at home playing with the neighbors. Maddy then went to a birthday party at "Chuck E Jesus" (that's what the 4 yr old birthday boy calls it!). She had a ride to Chuck's so I didn't have to leave the home for that. John went swimming with our neighbors and Will slept, so I was able to get a lot done around here!

Ooh! I know when I'll iron: I have been anxiously awaiting Jon & Kate's big announcement tonight. I think that'll be a good time to iron. I have too much anxiety about their marriage problems--I can't just sit still & watch...ironing will give me an outlet for the nervous energy as I watch. I know this sounds crazy, but I am really sad for them! I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm just sad about the damage that has already been done by the paparazzi and their own personal bad choices.

I just pulled some pasta thing out of the freezer for dinner. I should be eating iceberg lettuce and carrot sticks to try and make a dent in the calorie OVERexpenditure that I'm working on from vacation. Can you say "donuts for breakfast?" Or what about "dessert after every meal?" Try this one out: "chips & queso for snack every afternoon." Grand finale on this exercise: "FRIED GROUPER."

Lastly--in honor of yesterday's big father's day celebrations, I have to say that I have the BEST dad in the world. If I could pick any dad out to be mine....no doubt, I'd picked him! Thanks Dad--I love you!

And to my own husband and father of my children. You are the most patient, loving, and FUN dad they could ever have. I love the way you love me & I love the way you love our 3 kiddos.

A Letter to our Vacation Neighbor:

2009-06-19T07:23:00.002-05:00

Dear Vacation Neighbor:

It's been a good week. Really, it has. We've smiled as we pass by in the street on the way to and from the beach. We've splashed together at the pool. It's been great. Truly.

But last night, you put a bit of a damper on my friendly vacation spirit.

I fail to see why you needed to stay up until 3:30 a.m. talking outside with your front porch light on.

I know, I know--it sounds like I'm in your business and need to mind my own. But, I'm not. You see, you were in my business. Your late night/early morning talking and carousing and light-blaring activity took place just a few feet away from my bedroom doors and window. And, as you probably already know, these houses have those fancy windows above the doors that are in fancy shapes that don't allow for blinds or a window covering to mask the bright early morning sunlight or YOUR PORCH LIGHT from blaring in as I tried to sleep. (notice I said "tried" to sleep...)

So, really. I know we only have one night left, but I feel like I aged 10 years last night because of the lack of sleep allowed by your antics. I really can't afford to let this happen again tonight.

And you, my friend, really can't afford to stay up that late either. You may forget that my kids like to wake up around 6:30 and immediately head outdoors in that little strip of grass between your house and mine for rousing game of baseball or frisbee toss.

Please oblige so we'll all be a little happier, a little more rested and a little more pro-vacation when we return home from our vacation.

Sincerely,
Your neighbor in the blue house

vacation preparation

2009-06-12T11:51:00.004-05:00

We leave in the morning for Destin with my whole family! Looking forward to it.

In the meantime, however...

....you know how you do laundry a few days before you leave for a trip, then you tell everybody not to wear anything between now and then that they want to take because you won't be doing laundry again? And, then, you know how all that's left in your drawers after that are ugly clothes that you don't normally wear?

That's us this week, folks. If you see us out & about, please don't say anything about how we look.

Another vacation preparation casualty is our pantry and fridge. Because, well, you know how you don't want to go to the store and spend a lot of money on food that will go bad while you're gone? Basically, that means your menu for this week might look a little something like this:

*spaghetti with a jar of sauce, no meat
*eggs and biscuits
*rotisserie chicken and sides from the deli
*cereal

Nothing wrong with any of those dishes, by the way....I'm just sayin' there might've been a little more pizzazz this week if I'd allowed myself to buy anything at the store other than vacation food. (I do have skittles and chex mix, but heaven help you if you even THINK about opening those bags before we hit the Alabama state line...)

Wasted travels

2009-06-09T13:51:00.002-05:00

My friend Amy just celebrated a milestone birthday last week (she's 29 again). Anyways, her husband went all out and had a week-long celebration for her--it all started with a getaway for the two of them to Chattanooga (no kids!). When one of my kids heard that they were going away, he asked what they would do there. I said, "oh, they'll sleep in, go on walks, shop, eat out, maybe see some art, you know, stuff like that." He replied: "They're not going to the Aquarium? Not visiting Ruby Falls?!? That sounds like a wasted trip to Chattanooga to me!" He was outraged by their lack of fun planned for the weekend.

Personally....I've been to that aquarium a few too many times and while it is indeed wonderful and amazing, if I ever go back again, it'll be too soon. But of course, I am sure we'll be back because Will's never been and if you live this close, you must take your kids at least once. I think I'll let him experience Ruby Falls on a class field trip, though...

The funny thing about all that is that we feel so strapped down by having a toddler right now and think that there's so much we cannot do with the big kids because of Will. That theory got smashed the other day when I was flipping through some old photo albums and saw pictures of one such trip to Chattanooga when we did the Aquarium and Children's Museum. Guess how old Madeline was? 20 months. Guess how old Will is right now? 20 months. Hmmmm.....

2nd grade writing prompts: Take 4

2009-06-08T07:35:00.002-05:00

What are your parents' jobs?

My parent's jobs are, well, my dads job is enginering. He gets payed by money. My moms job is being a mother and she get's payed by wonderfull children. Their jobs are great.

____________________

Note from the mom who apparently is very rich (especially this summer): So, my friend Sarah said it best when she posted this as her status update: "Sarah thinks that her ability to change her Facebook status will be severely limited this summer." I'd like to change one thing about that statement to make it my own (that was a tribute to AI's Randy Jackson) and say that my ability to update the blog will be severely limited this summer. Wow--the kids are BUSY and HIGH-MAINTENANCE! You go 9 months out of the year with school in session and begin to think they're all grown up until summer break.

We leave for vacation with my family in a few days....YEAH!!! Here's to a repeat of last summer's great trip!

2nd grade writing prompts: Take 3

2009-05-29T10:03:00.000-05:00

What is the nicest present you could give to your parents?

The nicest present I could give to my parents would be is a day of sleep. I would have to feed my siblings and all that stuff. It would be this Saturday. It would be hard to watch the SEC Chapionchip. It would be as hard as doing pushps at 4:00 AM! That would be a good gift.

I have weird kids

2009-05-27T12:35:00.003-05:00

I had this great brainchild of an idea to have a "Job Jar" this summer chock full of activities to give a bored, trouble-making child something to do when they seem to be getting into trouble. We also have an official chore list for each child (not Will...YET!) of things they are responsible for each morning and each evening. It's been really great so far! John has been very compliant and though he says the garbage can smells like skunks when he has to take the trash out, he doesn't complain.

The "Job Jar" is full of those tasks around the house that I don't particularly care for. The whole intent is to try to dissuade unruly behavior, so the jobs in the Job Jar are less than savory. For instance...

*Wipe down bathrooms with Clorox Wipe
*Clean baseboards with a dust rag
*Spot clean the kitchen floor
*Clean out the bugs from between the window and the screen (thank you, Sarah U., for that idea)

HOLD UP. Before you report me to child protective services, I have to tell you that Maddy has actually been CREATING TROUBLE (oh yes, she has) because she thinks these chores are a bundle of fun. Seriously. She will do something naughty only to immediately look up at me and say, "Can I get something to do from the job jar?"

Today, as she was spraying the glass door to the patio with Windex, she finally admitted that she has a problem. She actually verbalized her plot:

"Mommy, do you know why I get in trouble so much lately? It's because I love to get jobs from the Job Jar."

I have weird kids.

15 minutes of fame

2009-05-26T15:43:00.004-05:00

Last week, Maddy graduated from preschool with much pomp & circumstance.

Literally.

They played that song while she marched down the center aisle with her classmates in their caps & gowns. It was precious!

Figuratively speaking, she did as well.

They had been rehearsing some songs to sing for the parents and I had heard some of the tunes, but had yet to see the hand motions.

Did I say hand motions? What I meant to say was that I had yet to see the full-body-action-move-and-groove-to-the-music-shakin'-what-your-mama-gave-ya dance theatrics that accompanied the songs. The rest of the class performed the basic hand-motions, but my daughter added that extra oomph and pizzazz that we all know she's capable of.

The video camera was shaking from the laughter of its operator (me) and you can hear the whole crowd giggling at the display. Afterwards, I had people coming up to me asking where she takes dance lessons (she doesn't) and how long she's been dancing like that (it was a first).

Today at the Y, I had a complete stranger come up to me and ask if my daughter was the one dancing at the preschool graduation last week (her daughter was in a different class at the school).

So, I guess it's safe to say that she has had her 15 minutes of fame and it was absolutely delightful!

Also, today at the Y, I left John with my friend Kirsten at the pool while I went to check the other kids out of the nursery to go swimming. When I came back to the pool, John was being filmed by News Channel 5 as he took a swim test, then they wanted to interview ME. AAGH!!! I had just finished a weight lifting class and was sweaty and all "ew gross"....yet they captured me on camera discussing the benefits of the new swim test safety procedures at the YMCA.

I have yet to see it air (we're an hour away from showtime) but I am predicting a heavy southern accent and some mascara smudges underneath my sweaty eyes. I always get a thicker accent when I get nervous....

The Curse of being firstborn

2009-05-24T19:46:00.003-05:00

John had been wanting a Nintendo DS for quite some time before his Mimi made all those dreams come true this past Christmas. He was almost 8 years old and we had built up all the responsibility that goes with owning a small, expensive electronic item as something that he would have to "earn" by being mature enough for the task. So, he was delighted to no end when he opened his great gift a few months ago.

Thankfully, he was a doll and shared his DS with his little sister--she liked to play some of the games and he was fine to let her play. Well, then she started wanting to play a lot. And we started looking at our calendar and seeing all the long car trips we had coming up and realized what pleasant travelers we could have in the backseat of our mini-van if someway, somehow, somewhere, we could have one DS for each big kid.

Hmmmm.....

You know, Maddy is awfully mature. I mean, really--girls just are. They are. Seriously--she could handle the DS. She's good about keeping up with stuff. Uh huh. She's ready.

Next stop: Gamestop.

Yes, our 5 year old daughter BOUGHT HER OWN (pink, of course) Nintendo DS a few weeks ago and she thinks she is hot stuff with it!

It's hard to be the starter child!

Behavior-wise, Will gets away with murder compared to what we used to crack down hard on John about....at this rate, he'll be playing MarioKart in no time!

2nd grade writing prompts: Take 2

2009-05-23T16:19:00.001-05:00

Where will you be in 10 years?

In ten years, I predict I will be 5 foot 11. I will be graduating from high school. Mabey I would even get a basketball scholership to Vanderbuilt. I hope I get a basketball schallership to a SEC team. I will look super young. I will love collage. It sounds so fun! I will have some idiot friends thoe.

2nd grade writing prompts: Take 1

2009-05-22T07:38:00.003-05:00

Writing prompt from John's school composition pad:

What are some rules at your house?

Some rules at my house are not going into the woods by myself. I also can't go to my friends' house without asking. I can't yell when Vandy is playing and Will is sleeping. My dad doesn't like that rule. I don't like it either. Rules keep you safe. RULES.

Thanks for the memories

2009-05-11T13:15:00.003-05:00

I know, I know. I haven't posted in a while. It's not for lack of thought....in the words of Willie Nelson, please know, faithful readers, that you were always on my mind. (I love being able to incorporate random old country songs into my blog...seeing as how the title of my blog is named after an old Eddie Arnold song "Welcome to my world, won't you come on in?"). Anyways, I have been a busy bee and have every intention in the world of keeping this up, but life gets in the way.

Excuses, excuses. Let's move on.

This past weekend, we went to KY to see my family and my 2 big kids got to spend loads of quality time with their 5 cousins. It was fabulous--I felt like I was on a "getaway" with Michael. My parenting requirements were minimal for those 48 hours. We stayed at my sister's house with Will (going from ordinarily having 3 kids to just 1 baby is a breeze!) and John & Maddy stayed with the cousins. During the day when we were all together, the kids were so enamored with the cousins that they needed me for all of nothing. They get along charmingly--no fights, they don't get tired of each other, and it's just fun all around. I need not take that for granted! They really do have a sweet relationship with each of the kids-

So, when we were getting ready to leave yesterday, my sister Beth asked a pensive Maddy if she was sad about leaving. (They are perpetually asking why we can't live closer to Louisville!). She thought about it for a moment, then looked up and said, "No, because I have memories."

PRECIOUS.

Today when I was unpacking their stuff, I came upon a note that one of the cousins had written for her before she left. It is a keepsake! It says, "I love you so much. You are the best girl cousin ever." Let's just focus on the sweetness that is involved here and not let her know that she is in fact, the only girl cousin for this particular family.

Post-race euphoria

2009-04-27T15:52:00.005-05:00

I've decided that running a distance race is a lot like giving birth. You very quickly forget the pain involved and focus only on the exciting parts of the experience--often wondering how soon you would take the opportunity to do it all again!

I'm about 48 hours post-race experience and have all but forgotten the torture I faced just a short time ago. I keep looking up my results online and staring at the numbers and splits, partly wondering what I could've done differently and how I could've trained better to knock a few minutes off that time. I also look at the final number and am in awe that it wasn't much higher, considering how hot it was that day and how I hadn't had a training run anywhere close to the high temps we experienced.

My legs feel great today. Yesterday was sore and I definitely took the elevator at church to avoid the long steep staircase, but today I feel good. I met my friend Amy at the trails and went for a 3.5 mile walk to eke out the final soreness and now I'm feeling real good.....good enough to plot out my next race, I do believe.

I'll leave you with this picture of my crew soon after we all finished--smiles all around!

If you've ever thought about running, but don't think you could do it....please take a note from me: If I can do it, ANYONE can do it. I never ran a day in my life until about 4 years ago. Right after I had Maddy, I was looking for a way to lose the baby weight and have a hobby I could keep all to myself. I went to Fleet Feet and bought a pricey pair of shoes, knowing that the right equipment would make a big difference between quitting and sticking with it. I signed up for a 5K race and it began from there.

July 4, 2004 My first 5K (Firecracker 5K)

Labor Day 2004 My first 10K (Franklin Classic)

October 2004 My first half-marathon (Louisville, KY)

I am by no means an athlete--I have had to learn how to do this the hard way, but it's something that I have learned to love. I did not love running the first year or so that I did it, but I stuck with it and now am at the point where I CRAVE the sweat and feeling you get when you are done. Give it a try!

4:45 a.m. came awfully early this morning...

2009-04-25T13:16:00.004-05:00

Timeline of my race:

8:45 p.m. Night before the race: the "team" (Michael, our neighbor/friend/fellow running maniac Victor, my brother Keith, his friend Ben) and I spend a significant amount of time getting our race numbers appropriately centered and attached to our running clothes and attaching our timing chips to our shoes. We go through a dress rehearsal of what we're wearing and why we're wearing it. It's a successful venture. We all feel ready for the next day.

4:45 a.m. There's my alarm. I was sound asleep in dreamland. WHY OH WHY did we sign up for this type of torture? Sadly, the true torture hasn't even begun.

5:00 a.m. Slam some breakfast, Diet Coke, and water.

5:15 a.m. In the car with Keith & Ben (who looks an awful lot like Zac Efron, would you know?) We're following Michael & Victor downtown. No traffic! We're golden!

6:00 a.m. On the shuttle bus to the start line! SCORE: there is a bathroom on the bus!!! I will gladly use this facility and avoid the port-o-potty line. Have you seen the lines for those things?

6:30 a.m. Well, we made it to the start line, but I have to go to the bathroom again. Dang! OK, off to stand in the line. Keith and I size everybody up in the line around us--wondering who we'll be passing and who will be passing us.

6:55 a.m. I finally make it into what has to be the NASTIEST portapotty known to man. I am serious--it was rank. Hold your breath, hold your breath, hold your breath......break out!!! Now, a mad dash to the start line.

7:00 a.m. The Carter Twins sing the national anthem. The funniest sight I saw all day was the huge crowd of people in line to go to the bathroom standing at attention during this sacred moment of Americana.

7:01 a.m. BANG! And they're off. They are--not me. I am in corral 14 and will have to wait about a half-hour until my group is sent off.

7:25 a.m. I cross the start line!

Mile 1: MAN, it's hot.

Mile 2: Well, hello hill! I must remember to apologize to my guys--I told them Miles 1-2 were downhill. I grossly misrepresented the race course. This is VERY hilly!

Mile 3: Water station ahead! Cytomax is gross. Where's the gatorade?!? I appreciate a little Gatorade when I'm needing some electrolyte therapy. I'd rather pass on the Cytomax, but will have to make do, at least for the next 10 miles.

Mile 4: Hey! There's my friend Micah! Wish she were running with me. Darn her IT Band.

Mile 5: I guess I was in the zone. I don't remember much here.

Mile 6: Still in the zone.

Mile 7: Hmmm. Wonder why my achilles is talking to me? What's it saying? I'm doing my best to ignore it because I'm sure it's not good news.

Mile 8: MICAH!!! There she is again! What's she holding out there for me--what is that? I can't quite see.....must get closer.....It's Gatorade!!!! Oh mercy, it's Gatorade! Micah is my Angel of Electrolytes. I can carry on!!! Only 5 miles to go.

Mile 9: Zone.

Mile 10: OK. I am so done. Not digging the race anymore. This is not fun and I hurt. My legs are sore. My achilles hurts. My brain is fried. AND IT'S HOT. It had to be 80 degrees at this point. DONE. At this moment, I started telling myself..."it's 30 more minutes. That's it. In 30 minutes, you will never have to run another minute in your life if you don't want to. Just finish these 30 minutes and you can hang up your racing shoes for life. Just 30 more minutes. You can do anything for 30 minutes." But I didn't much believe myself. I didn't think I could do it for 30 minutes, but on the flip side, I knew I would want to run again. Just not anytime soon.

Mile 11: I started talking to random people at this point and trying to find someone interesting to talk to. ACHES AND PAINS. My legs were screaming.

Mile 12: ONE MORE MILE. Cytomax still tastes gross and I am convinced that I really won't ever WALK again, much less run again. WHY IS THERE A DARN HILL IN THIS RACE AT MILE 12?!? Who's great idea was it to put a hill at mile 12?!?

Mile 13: I can see the finish!!!

2 hours, 12 minutes is my time. I am more than pleased. I ran it in 2:15 last year and was hoping for 2:10, but 2:12 is just fine with me, considering the torture I felt from Miles 10-13.

Want to hear something just delightful now? THEY HAD OREOS IN THE FINISHER'S VILLAGE. Oreos, people. O-R-E-O-S. And the heat of the day finally came in handy for something--the cream inside the oreos was soft and warm like a cookie right out of the oven. It was delicious.

I found my team of guys and we all exchanged battle stories. Ben schooled us all--this was his first half-marathon and he killed it! He finished in 1:32 or something close to that.

And, that's the story of my race today!

Does anybody know where I can find a discount code for early registration for next year's race?

Am I ever glad THAT'S over...

2009-04-25T11:10:00.002-05:00

Finished in 2:12-ish range.

More later.

OUCH.

Race Expo

2009-04-23T16:35:00.003-05:00

Michael & I went down to the Expo this afternoon around lunchtime to pick up our race packets, numbers, shoe chips and all the soybar freebies one girl can handle.

And just how many soybar freebies could I handle? Well, half of one to be exact. And it wasn't even full-sized...it was a sample. Darn those things--I always want them to taste like a candy bar and would you know, they never do? I'm just waiting on a healthy candy bar to be invented and I shall give them all the free advertising they'd ever want on my blog. Which is very tempting, I'm sure, seeing as how there are at least a dozen of you out there (Hi Mom!). Anyways, the "peanut butter cookie" Luna bar or whatever brand they were dishing out tasted like.....soy.

I managed to train these past 4 months or so and stayed completely injury free. It was remarkable. However, I almost blew it all today at the Expo when I stubbed my toe on Will's stroller. Seriously--how devastating would that be?

Old Friend I See in Kroger Check Out Line: "Hey Ellen, how'd you do in the race?!"
Me: "Well, I didn't get to participate: injury."
OFISIKCOL: "Oh, IT Band? Achilles troubles?"
Me: "No.....not exactly...."
OFISIKCOL: "Tendonitis? Runner's Knee?"
Me: "No, I stubbed my pinkie toe really bad at the Expo when I was picking up my race packet."

Thankfully, I think I'll recover in time for the race on Saturday.

T-3 days and counting: race day!

2009-04-22T13:07:00.000-05:00

So, I wrote my big post the other day all about resting my legs for the race this Saturday and honing in on some good dietary choices.

A little less talk and a lot more action, Ellen!

I downed 1/2 a bag of Cheetos yesterday afternoon.

I was also weak about my resolve to not go to my strength training class to avoid any muscle soreness....but I'm addicted, y'all! I can't NOT go. I was on my way into the Y and had bigs plans to do a short, easy run on the treadmill. But then I saw my friends' cars in the parking lot and I knew they'd be there....so I went. I lunged, squatted, and crunched my way through the class and am now hoping I don't jinx my performance on Saturday.

ANYWAYS, the most important thing, however, is my OUTFIT!

I got a new outfit for the race on Saturday. I went with a red "technical fabric" sleeveless top and some black shorts. I went with red because, like Tiger Woods on Sundays at his tournaments, it signifies......well, I don't know what it signifies. But Tiger wears red and I am going to as well.

I will do my best to get some action pictures on Saturday to post.

If you happen to be in downtown Nashville on Saturday morning.....if you see a flash of red zip by you so fast you couldn't see who it was.....well, it's probably not me. I'd be the one jogging by waving and smiling at the crowd.

American Idol, Top 7

2009-04-21T21:10:00.002-05:00

Well, this is the Top 7 again, but really, it's the first time for me since I didn't do the blog recap thing last week. Here we go:

Lil Rounds: "I'm Every Woman." First things first: can she rock a pantsuit or what? Lookin' Good, Lil! The song was fine--entertaining enough, but I'll agree with the judges--a touch on the karaoke side.

Kris Allen: "She Works Hard For the Money." Seriously? He is singing a chick song? OK--I stand corrected! It was original, fun, new, and completely believable! I really, really like him!

Danny Gokey: "September." I got up and DANCED to this one! So much fun!!! Not to sound like a broken record, but I really, really like him too! I couldn't stop dancing. He's just a flat out good performer.

Alison Iraheta: "Hot Stuff." She's too young to sing this song, in my opinion. I do not like her outfit, I do not like her song. But, I have to admit, the girl can throw out song vocals!!!

Adam Lambert: "If I Can't Have You." I did not even recognize this song--and I am normally considered quite the songstress. Michael had to sing the "real" version for me. Paula's reaction (teary eyes) was a bit over the top, but I'm not there, so I don't know. Maybe that's how it came across if you were there live...but I didn't get that same feeling. He is an excellent vocalist, performer, bla bla bla bla bla....he's just in it to win it.

Matt Giraud: "Stayin' Alive." Fun. I liked it! I liked it a lot better than what Simon did. He kept it true to the Disco theme, but modernized it a bit. I had fun with it. I'm glad he stuck around another week.

Anoop Desai: "Dim All the Lights." I have never heard this song either. He hit some great notes, but it was a bit boring. Loved his pink sweater tonight!

I don't know who's going home, but I think Adam, Danny, and Kris are definitely safe. The others....well, it could be anybody. Two people will go home tomorrow night and then it starts to get down to the wire! I'm still thinking Danny & Adam will be in the finale.

Your thoughts?

Bachelor for Life?

2009-04-21T08:22:00.001-05:00

The other day on the way to church, John said he was planning to come into "big church" for worship and then he'd see what the sermon was about before he decided whether to go to Sunday School or to stay.

Basically, his one and only condition for leaving was if it was about marriage.

"If he starts talking about marriage, I'm leaving."

WHICH reminds me of this great conversation John & I had one day not long ago. It involved marriage and Fred & Wilma Flintstone.

I watched the Flintstones every afternoon in the summer growing up. I would go to the pool, come home, get a nice unhealthy snack and sit on my pool towel (still in my wet bathingsuit) and watch The Flintstones at 2:35 pm. (Remember when TBS did their viewing schedules on the :05 and the :35?)

So, I was quite happy when I saw that Comcast On Demand had some episodes of the Flintstones. It was a childhood memory I couldn't wait to share with my own kiddos.

I never before realized what a terrible marriage Fred & Wilma had! There is so much lying and deception going on between them. He treats her as his slave and there's lots of yelling when he doesn't get his way. I have to say if this cartoon were made in 2009, I would not dare let my kids watch it.

But of course, it was made way back when and I continued to watch an episode now & then with the kids thinking they were as oblivious as I once was about the lack of harmony between the stoneage couple.

The other day John looked at me and said, "They don't seem to like each other very much, do they? It's like they aren't happy to be married to each other."

So perceptive for an 8 year old boy. Every once in a while, he'll surprise me with some astute, mature observation and I am shocked to realize how fast he's growing up!

T-5 days and counting....

2009-04-20T08:37:00.003-05:00

The Country Music 1/2 Marathon is almost here! I have been training seriously for about 4 months. I've put lots of miles on these legs & feet and am actually really looking forward to Saturday! We've got family coming into town and my brother Keith is running with Michael & I, along with several neighbors and friends from church. It has taken much coordination to get the kids in the right place so we can just wake up, eat, and run, but I think I've finally gotten it all figured out.

My mother-in-law is keeping Will overnight on Friday night and part of Saturday; My parents will take care of John & Maddy and get them to John's baseball game at 10:30 that morning; we're still trying to work out the parking situation/shuttle. A few years ago, Keith & Michael ran the race together and followed the advice in the race literature: they woke up at 3:30 in the morning, parked at the finish line and rode the shuttle from the finish to the start line only to arrive before the volunteers did and so they had about 2 hours to kill before the race started! They stretched by the Parthenon; talked to the media folk there to cover the race; were first in line for the port-a-potties. We still laugh about that one. We'd like to avoid that if at all possible, however, we'd equally like to avoid the mistake I made last year. I did not have a car at the finish line (because there was a wreck at the exit to get off there earlier that morning), couldn't find a ride back to the start line where I'd parked and ended up PRAYING (literally) for someone to come along to give me a lift back to the start line.

OK, moving on:
This week, I hope to be wise with my diet and exercise--I plan to make it an easy week...skipping my strength training classes and will probably only do two short and easy runs to save my legs for Saturday.

The diet part, however, is a little trickier for me. I made the mistake before my last long run of fueling up past the point of fueling up and boy did I pay for it during my run! We were in KY at my parent's house and the option is available to just eat all day if that's what you desire. And, so I did. BIG MISTAKE. Banana pudding, strawberry pretzel salad, jelly beans galore, cupcakes, and a huge Easter dinner. The next day as I ran my 11 miles, I also did a lot of praying. I was actually longing to come upon a port-a-potty, if you know what I mean.

So, I'm planning to avoid that scenario as well.

Last, but not least, another one bit the dust. I lost another running partner. I am the kiss of death to someone's running career, apparently. If you are looking to get into running....don't ask me to train with you! Last year, I trained with Kirsten for 4 months and she woke up in the middle of the night before the race with a terrible stomach virus.

This year, I trained with Micah for 4 months before she dropped out because of her IT Band (don't ask me to explain the IT Band....just know that it is along the side of your leg from your knee to your hip.)

So, I'll be running the actual race solo again. Which.....could be good. I am a very social runner, so when I'm running with a friend, we just chat, laugh, tell life stories, give unsolicited advice to each other, show our stretch marks to each other, cry and so forth and so on. Last year when I had to run by myself at the last minute, I approached the start line with a "the quicker I do this, the quicker it's over" mentality and it paid off! I shaved 15 minutes off my old record. So, perhaps this year I'll do the same. Just run. Faster you run, faster you finish.

Maddy's School Of Beauty

2009-04-19T13:28:00.004-05:00

This morning I was getting ready for church when Maddy asked if I would help her get dressed. I stopped mid-point while putting my makeup on and went into her room to pick out her clothes and fix her hair.

She asked if I could read her a book after we got her ready, but I told her I had to finish putting my makeup on.

She studied my face for a moment before declaring, "Yes, you still need to do your eyebrows, do your eyelashes [mascara] and put on lipstick."

Would you know she was exactly right?!? That was all I had left to do--those 3 tasks were yet to be done and by just looking at my face, she knew.

Michael was even more amazed than I was when I told him the story. He has been looking at this same face for 13 years now and couldn't have even come close to telling me what makeup was left to be applied.

Little girls are so much fun!!!

And, speaking of beauty....I had to post this beautiful picture of the little lady herself:

Drugs and Rock -n- Roll

2009-04-16T07:29:00.003-05:00

I got a new Taylor Swift CD the other day and love some of the songs--the kids were loving them too and singing along, but then I realized that a few of the songs were a little "old" for them...so I put a few songs on their MP3 players, but left some just for mommy to listen to. Michael was in on this decision and was the object of John's negative emotions when I wouldn't let him listen to one particular song. (Lots of negative emotion....)

Fast forward to last night: Michael took the kids to McDonalds for dinner while I got my haircut. On the way home, he's scanning stations on the radio and comes across "Paradise City" by Guns n Roses. He cranks it up and starts jamming out and then realizes the irony that we wouldn't let our kids listen to some teeny bop romance songs, but here he was teaching them to long for the place where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. (sounds like heaven, no?) So, he lets them all finish the song and they are rocking along and loving the chorus, then he does a little backpedaling about why that's probably not a good band for the family to get into.

Here's the conversation that ensued:

JOHN: "Dad, would you ever want to go to ao Guns n Roses concert?"
MICHAEL: "No, It would be really loud and there are probably a lot of drugs there."
JOHN: "People take steroids at concerts?" [He watches a lot of ESPN. A-Rod, anyone?]
MICHAEL: [Trying not to laugh] "No, they're not doing steroids."
JOHN: "Oh, then, do you mean people take medicine when they're not supposed to?"
MICHAEL: "Well, sort of......"
JOHN: [cuts him off before he could explain] "because I've done that before."
MICHAEL: [a little concerned at this point] "What sort of medicine have you taken when you didn't need it?"
JOHN: "Well, sometimes at night, I'll make myself cough a lot so I can get an extra cough drop."

So, as your friend who has the finger on the pulse of pop culture....I'm warning you--if you go to a rock concert, please act cool if someone offers you a Hall's or a Sucrets.

American Idol, Top 8

2009-04-08T12:47:00.003-05:00

I haven't done a recap in a few weeks--"too busy" is all I can say.

And still, I have nothing much for you today either....
except: my DVR cut off at 1 hour (the time allotted for the show, per Fox) and I missed Adam Lambert's song, which was apparently the song of the night. Simon gave it a standing ovation, I hear! First time ever, as far as I know and I've watched all seasons faithfully (except season 2, my apologies to Ruben.)

The other thing I want to comment on is how I REALLY disliked how they had Matt Giraud and Kris Allen singing on a little stage in the crowd the last 2 weeks. (Last week it was Matt on the keyboard and this week was Kris on guitar). For one thing, it makes me nervous that some tween is going to reach out and pinch them mid-performance, causing them to YELP! instead of sing. The other thing is that you can't get a good camera angle on them with the crowd around and I think that affects viewers' perception of the song/performance. AND--coincidence or not: the judges panned both performances.

If I were a contestant and the producer suggested that next week I perform on the little side stage, I'd think twice before accepting that proposal.

That's it. Thanks for reading.

Green Velvet

2009-04-07T18:22:00.009-05:00

Yep. That's right. It's spring and around here that means our grass is emerald green and oh so lovely. A few years ago we decided to invest in Chem-Lawn to spray the yard; we aerated; we seeded. We did it all again. And it has paid off. Each spring we get repaid with a lovely carpet made of green velvet.

So, here it is:

Onto other exciting news-of-the-outdoor variety...

I learned how to mow about 3 summers ago. AND I LOVE IT. I grew up with 3 brothers and my family kept to very traditional roles (boys outside, girls inside) so I never had to do much in the way of yard work. However, my interest in mowing was stirred a few years after we had kids. Michael would be gone all day to work while I was (by my choice, I admit) "stuck home" with the kids all day. (Don't let me fool you--I truly love what I do, but sometimes you do feel a little "stuck.") Then, he would come home and need to mow the yard(s) (we adopted my mother in law's yard after she moved to our subdivision a few years ago). I then had to stay indoors with the kids while he mowed.

I decided he was getting the better end of the deal! When you mow, you see, you get to be outside and nobody can bother you!! Mowing the front yard? "Kids--move to the back!" Mowing the back yard? "Kids--move to the front!" You can't hear anyone crying or asking for dinner and you don't have to wipe anybody's bottom while you mow. It's a WIN-WIN-WIN situation for a mom who's been at the children's beck and call all day.

Once I realized that, I fell in love with mowing. I'm not afraid to admit it. I truly love to mow. I mowed when I was 8 months pregnant. I mowed a week after I had a baby. I mowed in the heat of the summer and in the cool of the fall.

[complete aside: Will just cracked an egg on the dining room carpet. Pardon me while I clean up that mess.]

Anyways. This summer, I've had to give it up. We are too busy. I can't mow during the day because Will is in too much trouble without a watchful eye. John is involved in baseball and that takes up several nights a week, plus a good chunk of the day on Saturday. Michael has church meetings and works late often enough to interfere with my mowing needs.

So, we hired the neighborhood dude to mow for us & my mother-in-law. His lawn company maintains/mows all our neighborhood common space and he does neighbor yards as well. He came the first time a few weeks ago and did a stellar job, I have to admit.

Then we waited. And waited and waited. Yes, there were some weather issues....yet we waited through those and still no mower blade graced our lovely lawn. Our yard had the jungle look going on and we were probably one day away from getting a letter from the Homeowner's Association.

I started to lose sleep over this issue. Seriously. Ask my husband. I woke him up in the middle of the night a few nights ago filled with worry over the lawn company and how let down I felt. The next day I dropped a note in lawn dude's mailbox.....and so today was the day he chose to come. I watched out the window, wistfully, as they took over the chore I had grown to love. I was a wee bit jealous that they made it look so easy.

I'll bet you're now wondering what the downside is, right? It wasn't that I was missing out on the task that I enjoyed nor that it was costing us money. The downside is that I can't control when they come to mow....as in NOT DURING NAPTIME. Will's nap was cut short by about 2 hours when the two mowers, weedeater, and blower all powered up at the same time. So, I was left holding the bag on a very fussy baby for the remaining 6 hours of his day.

It's been a very long day.

Take that, Target!

2009-03-31T11:45:00.003-05:00

Just when I think I've seen it all, my Walmart has started offering Valet Parking.

Multi-tasking, per a 5 year old girl

2009-03-27T14:57:00.001-05:00

"Maddy, what did you do at the Y today?"

"Oh, we played house with Cade and his friend Stephanie. Cade was the dad, Stephanie was the mom, and I was the dog, cat, lion, teenager, little boy kid, little girl kid and the baby."

I've decided to call this post "Baby in the Pantry"

2009-03-26T14:49:00.004-05:00

BABY PROOFING CHECK LIST:

Toilet seats down: CHECK

Bathroom doors closed: CHECK

Cabinets and drawers latched shut with babyproof plastic things: CHECK

Polly Pockets and crayons put up on a high shelf: CHECK

Trash can lid locked: CHECK

Dishwasher latched shut: CHECK

Move all chairs away from patio table so he can't climb up and flip it: CHECK

Move computer off desk in bonus room down to kitchen/bar area: CHECK

Move computer chair away from desk so he can't climb up and get the phone, printer, and pens: CHECK

Those are just a few of the steps we've taken to make life sane.

So apparently, he got a little bored. There was nothing left for him to get into, so he's now attacking the pantry on a regular basis. Moving on:

All Dangerous food items moved off the lower shelves: CHECK

Then he had the nerve to use this storage bin to stand up on to reach the glass jars.

I give up.

American Idol Top 10, March 25

2009-03-25T20:57:00.003-05:00

Matt Giraud, "Let's Get It On." This is ambitious--tackling a Marvin Gaye CLASSIC. I was glad to see him get out from behind the piano--I was afraid that was becoming a crutch for him. I thought his version was amazing! I liked how he started with just his voice and the piano, but then built up to the band and backup singers...it was great.

Kris Allen, "How Sweet It Is." Not sure why he has numbers on the shoulders of his shirt. I'm not really getting his wardrobe choice tonight. His song is just fine. A little on the cutesy side. Nothing amazing or overwhelming for Kris' performance tonight.

[Total Aside: I am watching this episode on my new & lovely DVR and I fast forward through all the commercials EXCEPT...the Sonic commercials! Those of you who know me know that I do love some Sonic Diet Coke with vanilla about once a day....but apart from that, those commercials make me laugh! The newest one with the mom & son just cracks me up..."I was taking a nap and you woke me up saying, 'mama needs a junior candy sundae.' "]

Scott McIntyre, "You Can't Hurry Love." Nothing amazing in this song for me. Please, please don't get me wrong: he is talented, that is true. He can tickle the ivories and he can carry a tune, but it just isn't "wow-ing" me tonight.

I think the judges are being very generous tonight.

Megan Joy, "For Once In my Life." What happened to her last name? Where's the Corkey? Anyways, her hair, jewelry, dress and performance all add up to make me think "cabaret cruise ship singer." NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. In fact, that's a secret ambition of my own (well, ok, it's not such a secret--most people know that about me). But, cabaret cruise ship singer and American Idol cannot co-exist within the same being.

Anoop Desai, "Ooh Baby Baby." I don't really know what to say about this. I guess I agree with Kara: he did a pretty good job. It was fine, but I was a little bored.

Michael Sarver, "Ain't Too Proud to Beg." He looks too happy and giddy to be begging his woman not to leave. He's just having a good time with this song--he's not connecting with the emotion of the song. I ain't too proud to beg you NOT to vote for. PLEASE, please please....let him go home.

Lil Rounds, "Heatwave." It was alright. I thought she would completely shine here--but I didn't find anything spectacular. I think she's cute as can be, though--great personality!

Adam Lambert, "Tracks of my Tears." This is my FAVORITE Motown song. ELVIS? He looks like Elvis. With a plastic wig. But, I am totally loving the arrangement. It was completely original and amazing. I might be downloading this one from itunes.

Danny Gokey, "Get Ready." Lots of energy and a solid vocal performance, but it seemed a little old fashioned to me. It wasn't very original. I understand that it's a classic song and there's not much to change or tweak....but after hearing Adam's completely original performance before him, Danny needed to bring something more artistic to the table.

Allison Iraheta, "Papa was a Rolling Stone." This girl is too young to be this good! She is so comfortable on the stage and shows such maturity in her stage presence, vocals and the fact that she can stand (much less DANCE) in those heels astounds me.

American Idol, Top 11

2009-03-17T20:23:00.007-05:00

Here we go--another round:

Michael Sarver: "Ain't Goin' Down Til the Sun Comes Up." I didn't think this showed any range at all. The song only had about 3 or 4 notes total through the whole thing and it was hard to understand.....even for me who knew most of the words. On another topic....did you see the harmonica dude holding a microphone and harmonica-izing at the same time? Talent. Pure talent. But, we're not voting for harmonica dude. We're also not voting for Michael Sarver. I think he's performed his last time on this stage.

Allison Iraheta: "Blame It On Your Heart." She can actually pull off a country song! Her voice suits country, which I was surprised to hear. What's ironic is that Patti Loveless also has an unnatural shade of red dye on her hair just like Allison. Coincidence? I think not.

Kris Allen: "To Make You Feel My Love." No guitar tonight? He did well! The falsetto note at the end was a dangerous move, but he did it and it worked. Randy called him "a Tender Dawg" and I agree--it was a great performance. He had really good vocal control through the entire song.

Lil Rounds: "Independence Day." Did you know that magenta is the color of spring this year? It is. Go out and buy yourself some hot pink to wear just like Lil did tonight---she looked lovely! Her song, however.....very flat. Didn't like her performance which surprised me because I was under the impression that she could do no wrong. She'll still be back next week. Hopefully by then, Simon will realize that her name is LIL, not LITTLE, and that LIL can be short for names like "Lily" or "Lillian."

Adam Lambert: "Ring of Fire." I hated this performance. I agreed with Simon--it was terrible.

Scott McIntyre: "Wild Angels." Looks like a stylist got a hold of his hair--THANKFULLY. He had a much better haircut this week. Regarding his performance, it was miles better than last week. I didn't think he deserved to be here last week....but this week was such an improvement that I have decided to let him stay. Especially since he got a decent haircut. Anyways, I liked the stripped-down beginning of the song.

Alexis Grace: "Jolene." It wasn't nearly as "edgy" as her past performances, but I still enjoyed it. I wish she'd done something modern with a little rock to it by Sugarland or Gretchen Wilson.

Danny Gokey: "Jesus Take the Wheel." I didn't like the verse but the chorus was amazing. He seemed so disconnected to the emotion of the song during the verses--it was like he didn't really know what he was singing. But the soul shined through on the chorus. The crowd loved it.

Anoop Desai: "You Were Always On My Mind." Oh boy, I was nervous when he said this was what he was going to sing. He was going for the stripped down, vulnerable Anoop--perhaps trying to be a "Tender Dawg" like Kris Allen. I actually had CHILLS listening to him sing this. It was fabulous. Simon said he went from "zero to hero"--his favorite performance of the night. I think I agree. (Sorry Danny, sorry Kris--I'm still a fan, but Anoop won me over...just for tonight.)

Megan Joy Corkey: "Walkin' After Midnight." The first thing I'll say is that she needs more supportive undergarments. OK, moving on, her makeup looks great. ONTO THE MUSIC....which I know is what we're really judging here...I didn't think she really made it her own--it still sounded like Patsy Cline's version to me. I mean, there was a little bluesy-ness to it, but it still sounded like Patsy to me. So apparently, she's been in the hospital with the flu, and I think the judges are giving her extra good marks because they're judging her not just as "MEGAN" but as "MEGAN WITH THE FLU." Anyways, I thought it was fine. Not super memorable, but it was fine.

Matt Giraud: "So Small." Big night for Carrie Underwood with 2 of her songs being performed tonight. What a great tribute to her since this is where she got her start. I think this was a pretty solid performance--except the very last note was flat. Very vulnerable, solid performance by a talented guy.

March Madness To Do List:

2009-03-16T20:59:00.003-05:00

1. Watch ESPN's "Bracketology" special.
2. Watch games I DVR'd and analyze all 64 teams' strengths.
3. Now, analyze their weaknesses.
4. Create an Excel spreadsheet analyzing each team against their 1st round opponents.
5. Check out some college hoops message boards and see what the buzz is.
6. Fill out my bracket.

OR...

I could just do what I normally do. Here's a list of questions I use to help me decide who to choose since I have not watched one single basketball game this entire year:

1. Did I know somebody who went to that school?
2. If so, did I like them? Pick that school to win if that person was nice to me.
3. Does that school have a fun mascot? Pick them to win if it's a good mascot. Not something scary. Unless it's a pirate because mascot pirates are cool, not scary.
4. Does that school have good colors? Do the colors go well with my hair and skin tone....like, could I actually wear their sweatshirt & look decent?
5. Would I ever want to take a road trip to this school? Is it in a nice locale?
6. Did I go to school there? OH WAIT. KENTUCKY is going to the NIT, which stands for the "Not Invited Tournament"). Sorry, cats, I can't pick you to win this year like I usually do.

So, there you have it. My family does a yahoo group which features a "smack talking" message board and some serious bracket pickin'. There's a traveling trophy/plaque that my name is YET to appear on (wonder why?). It's spent the last year in my 1 year old nephew Max's room....which basically means Keith submitted more than one bracket which is totally against the rules.

Here's to "Ellen's Elite Athletes" and a fabulous 2009 journey to the final four! Will keep you posted on my standing.

NBA Week

2009-03-12T11:46:00.005-05:00

So, apparently it's NBA week at our home. We had the obsession with Michael Jordan going on earlier this week, but now the focus has shifted.

I had to take John to the doctor this morning where he was diagnosed with mild bronchitis.

After we left, he wanted to know more about this condition and the word "bronchitis" kept coming up in the conversation. He kept getting the word mixed up though and had a variety of pronunciations (newbronchtos? mabronchiotisis?), but my favorite, perhaps, was named after his favorite current NBA player:

LEBRON-CHITIS

(That's Lebron James, for all you moms-of-daughters-only out there)

American Idol: Top 13, recap 1

2009-03-11T07:42:00.006-05:00

I've been waiting....not so patiently....for the top 12 on AI to commence so I could begin a new blog series. Well, now it's the Top 13 and here I go:

Lil Rounds: Um, yes. She is good, better, and best, all wrapped up into one. Loved her spin on "The Way You Make Me Feel". A little bluesy, a little soulfulness--loved it! So comfortable on the stage. That is the way to kick it off, Lil! And, contrary to Simon's critique on her style, I loved her top! The one-shoulder number suited her just fine.

Scott McIntyre: "Keep the Faith" I do like his piano skills. He is unbelievably talented, but his vocals, y'all, his vocals are not "Top 12 (13?)" material, in my book. I know that's going to be controversial for me to say that--you're thinking, "but he's blind! the obstacles he's overcome! doesn't that count for something?!?" And, yes it does. But I'm going to stand by my original stance that his vocals don't "wow."

Danny Gokey: "PYT." LOVE HIM. I was so fearful that he'd start to fall apart during the Top 12 (13?) when they started picking themes and was nervous that he wouldn't be able to handle a Michael Jackson song....but he did. With pizazz. And then some. Paula sees him going all the way to the finals and I believe we'll follow him all the way there.

Michael Sarver: "You are Not alone" Good vocals. But a touch boring. Sorry.

Jasmine Murray: "I'll be there." She has a great voice, but I'm going to agree with the judges that she needs to add some youthfulness to her vibe. Oh, there goes Randy with a "name drop." He cracks me up when he throws a name like "I recorded that with Mariah..." out there as if he's still trying to establish his credibility for being on the judging panel.

Kris Allen: "Remember the Time" Sadly, I don't 'remember the time' that this dude went to try outs or Hollywood Week and I don't 'remember the time' he sang during Top 36. So, I was a little confused when he showed up on stage with a guitar--he was brand new to me. But, IMPRESS ME he did! Loved his version of the song. Couldn't hear the guitar at all, though--I kept asking Michael if he could hear it or if they had it unplugged or what? So, was that just for "looks" or stage-comfyness so he didn't have to feel awkward to figure out what to do with his hands/make up dance moves? Who knows. Hopefully, next week we shall find out! I liked him--really, really liked him! I felt so bad for his wife when Simon suggested that he should've kept her hidden for a while [in order to get more female votes, I guess]. She looked extremely uncomfortable. Randy redeemed the comment though when he said "love the song....love the wife...." or something like that.

Allison Iraheta: "Give in to Me" Song was fine. She's cornered the market on the "edgy rocker chick" personna. Please, stylist, make her change her hair to a normal color. PLEASE.

Anoop Desai: "Beat It." I like this guy. But. I did not like this song. WAY too karaoke. And I have seen my fair share of karaoke, so trust me on this one.

Jorge Nunez: "Never Can Say Goodbye" Great vocals. But, like I said about Michael Sarver: BORING. We ended up fast forwarding (I finally have DVR!!!) through part of his song. And, like I told Michael last night, generally I am biased against men who weigh less than me, so this was a strike against him before the song even began. Sorry, Jorge.

Megan Joy Corkey: "Rockin' Robin." Seriously? Did she just sing this song? Did she just tweet & caw her way through this? It was cute, but more like "cruise ship revue flash back to the 50's" cute, not "American Idol Top 12 (13?)" cute. I think this is going to send her home!

Adam Lambert: "Black and White" Do you remember the video for this song back in the day? It had people staring at the camera, doing a little dance, then suddenly, they'd morph into someone else...different nationality, etc-- Well, my sibs & I would stand in front of a mirror and try to re-enact that. We'd sing the song, then take turns stepping up to the mirror for a quick dance before going to the back of the line. ANYWAYS. That had nothing to do with Adam Lambert's performance last night, which was nothing less than that of a very seasoned performer who knows who he is and what his angle/market is going to be. There are all kinds of people like him here in Nashville who have been trying to make it in Country Music for YEARS and they are talented beyond belief. Anyways, he knocked it out of the park.

Matt Giraud: "Human Nature" Good vocals, nice piano. Forgettable, though. And, Yes, he still looks like Justin Timberlake.

Alexis Grace: "Dirty Diana" I thought she did a great job. She seems so emotion-less when facing the judges, though--you don't get any sense of her personality when she's interacting with them. But, judging on the performance, she's confident, sassy, got an incredible vocal range, and cute as a button. Even with the hot pink streaks in her hair.

Want some more reviews? Check out Boomama's blog and recaps by clicking here.

Michael Jordan

2009-03-10T12:30:00.000-05:00

So, I mentioned the other day about our MJ project going on at home. John's school has a "parents-hands-on-do-it-at-home" project each quarter, so this time it was all about an African American history/biography subject.

I did the two projects last semester with John and it about did us in. Weeping and gnashing of teeth for both of us. He is the CLASSIC first-born: wants to do it all himself, he has it all under control and can handle it, thankyouverymuch. Therefore, I informed Michael that the next project was his. All his. I was DONE.

I thought I'd feel completely relieved and relaxed knowing that Michael was in charge of this one....but, can I tell you how hard it was for me to keep out of it?

Well, for one thing, one of my gifts to this world is that I don't procrastinate. Really. I don't procrastinate. So, when we were at T-48 hours for the project deadline and the two of them are outside playing basketball/baseball/chatting up the neighbors all weekend, I was getting a little nervous.

Last weekend, however, they did print off a wikipedia article on MJ, but the fight that ensued when Michael told John to read the whole thing (It's 18 pages!!!!! Why do I have to read all 18 pages!!! I already know everything about Michael Jordan!!! I just want to skim it and find the information on his education!!! I'm NOT reading 18 pages!!!") completely canceled out the punctuality of said research. It got to be comical after awhile--the time spent bemoaning the 18 page article (5 of which were citation pages, btw) could have been spent reading the 18 page article 2 or 3 times over. Again, classic firstborn.

So, as you can see, it wasn't all smooth sailing for Michael--he endured his own bout of weeping & gnashing of teeth over the wikipedia incident.

They got it done, though, people--got it done!! It is a beautiful project and I was glad to have taken my hands off and left them to it. If John gets a better grade on this than he did on the "Chocolate Fever" book report/poster project I helped with, Michael may get hired on to do the final quarterly project as well.

So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: Without further adieu, I want to present to you.....

MICHAEL JORDAN, by John, 2nd grade

Make sure you read the text below--it's rich, I tell you:

P.S. I think I totally impressed my dad last night on the phone when he said he just saw MJ on tv at a NC/Duke game. He said, "you know, Michael Jordan went to college at North Carolina." In turn, I replied, "yes, that would be where he studied cultural geography." Anything else you need to know?

Various Asundry for March 8, 2009

2009-03-08T16:43:00.000-05:00

Here's what's happening around here these days:

*Need to know anything about MJ? (that would be "Michael Jordan" for those of you less cool than I). We're your family. John's knee deep in research for his African American biography school program. Surprised he picked MJ? Not me. If it's not about sports, it's not worth his time, apparently.

*Finished basketball last weekend. Start baseball this weekend. Can't get a break around here!

*Saw Slumdog Millionaire last Sunday night. Did not like it one bit. So heavy. So intense. So not the "Best Picture" of 2008! But the Academy disagrees and they didn't ask me anyway.

*I am still training for the half-marathon in April. Long runs are up to 7 miles--over half-way there! Aiming to shave quite a bit of time off my old record, so we'll see...so far Micah (my neighbor/friend) is keeping me more than on track. Perhaps we're so busy sharing deep, dark secrets and baring our souls (yes, really) or discussing which of our children left our bodies more worse for wear after 63 months of pregnancies between the two of us (yes, really) that we don't notice how fast we're running. It's been quite the productive training regimen. We ran 7 miles in 65 minutes on Friday which may not sound fast to you....but it makes me feel like a Kenyan.

*Three cheers for some good spring weather we've had around here! We've all but slept outdoors the last few days and it's been marvelous.

*I'm getting ready to register Madeline for Kindergarten!!!! Where have the years gone??

Alright, off to put some dinner in the oven and squeeze in a quick run while it bakes-

They grow up so fast these days.

2009-03-03T13:11:00.002-06:00

Saturday night, Michael took the 2 big kids to the Upwards Basketball End o' Season Celebration Extravaganza Night of Love and Peace and Victory [or something like that]. They sat with John's team and about half-way through the program, a boy from the team tapped Michael on the arm and asked him to hand a piece of paper to Maddy.

It was his phone number. He said, "Tell your daughter to call me."

WHAT?

My sweet (yet ravishingly beautiful) 5 year old daughter got an 8 year old's digits!

YIKES.

Michael promptly handed the paper back to the young lad and said "My daughter doesn't know how to use a phone and she won't be calling you."

Go dad!

Pictures I've meant to post for awhile but just never downloaded from the camera until yesterday

2009-02-28T17:28:00.000-06:00

This one is just very very cute. I have a video of him climbing over this red chair to get onto the piano bench, but I can't figure out how to get it uploaded onto here. All this newfangled technology....

These two are all about Valentine's Day. School parties, family fun....just love love love. They both got lots of cards in the mail and treats from grandparents and aunts and that just delights them like nothing else! We did end up taking them to the Y to swim that night, then out for dinner and they had a ball.

The Winter Storm of 2009. Don't worry--I was fully stocked up on bread & milk, so we didn't go hungry during the days of being shut in... ;o)

Here are those dang graham crackers that I left out on the patio for DAYS (weeks?). I blogged about them a time or two. The open package on the table were quite soggy (they're covered in snow here), but there was an unopened package still inside the box that were unscathed and quite tasty.

A good little Presbyterian

2009-02-25T21:09:00.003-06:00

We've been really into the movie "Annie" around here lately. It's a free "on demand" movie right now and I've been having all kinds of childhood flashbacks as I clean and dance around the house singing "It's a hard knocked life" and "I think I'm going to like it HERE!!!!!!" OH THE MEMORIES. Loved that movie as a child. I think it might've been the first movie I ever saw at the theater. I had the sound track (on tape, of course). I had the Annie dolls (yes, plural dolls). I pretended that I was Annie in the bathroom mirror with my brush as a microphone. Come to think of it....Annie was kind of like my own "High School Musical" back in the day.

So, the kids are digging Annie. I'm digging Annie (again). We even got the new up-to-date Annie movie from the library (Disney worked on it for this one...even includes my favorite Kristin Chenoweth). We are up to our ears in ANNIE.

If you can recall, the orphanage lady's name (played by Carol Burnett or Kathy Bates, depending on which version you've seen) is Miss Hannigan.

Maddy is notorious for mixing words up and saying very funny things, unintentionally.

LIKE, tonight when she kept meaning to say"Miss Hannigan"....she kept saying "Miss Catechism" instead. HILARIOUS.

Other funnies? Playing Uno, instead of saying she laid down a "reverse", she said she laid down a "bibleverse." And she still says "redult" instead of "adult."

She has a whole mess of words like that....I should make a list!

Make new friends, but keep the old

2009-02-24T09:01:00.001-06:00

This past Sunday, I had lunch with a good friend I hadn't seen in well over 5 years. Lisa has known me for probably 15 years or so--I first met her when my older brother brought her home from college when I was still in high school. Well, it didn't work out for them, but it worked out well for me! Lisa was my Bible Study leader and mentor in college and we've done our best to keep up over the last 10 years.

The first question she & her husband Mark asked me was, "So have you started eating salads yet?" (read Item #2 on this link and you'll know where this comes from). I was thrilled to announce to them that I had indeed been a faithful salad eater for about 6 years now.

There's just a comfort that comes from seeing old friends! It was very fun to catch up and laugh and relive the old times (salad, anyone?) but also celebrate the present and all the ways God has grown us up.

The night before, I had a "girl's night out" with my "new" friends (although most of them are now becoming my "old" friends since we've been hanging together for about 8 years now). I decided the time had come to let them in on my secret, hidden, mysterious talent. Lisa & Mark knew about this and I figured it was time to really solidify my relationships with my "new/old" girlfriends as well.

Shall I share it with the blogosphere as well? I'm feeling right confident that this is an appropriate forum, so here goes:

I can do the worm. Yes, as in the break-dance variety.

It only took me one margarita to get the courage to showcase this talent, but I'm fairly sure it was worth it because "the worm" was greeted with open arms and hearts.

The last time I did the worm (in public, anyways) was 10 years ago at my brother Craig's 30th birthday party...In front of his friends, coworkers and colleagues. But I wasn't alone--Keith, my other older brother, and I did a synchronized worm. (Keith's the one I probably owe a sincere debt of gratitude to for learning the worm in the first place-he's the one who taught me the lyrics to Christmas in Hollis, as you may recall. He seems to have a little R&B/hiphop in his soul.)

And of course, there are pictures. But none of them were too "flattering" if you know what I mean, so you'll have to live without.

I feel like we know each other a little better now.

The Excuse

2009-02-23T12:26:00.003-06:00

In case you're wondering why I don't blog NEARLY as much as I used to, I have decided to do a little photojournalism piece to demonstrate.

Will is, as I like to say, busier than both of my other children ever thought about being....combined. For instance, today at the Y nursery (in the completely babyproofed room with carpet on the walls and nothing but toys to play with), the nursery workers informed me that he's been getting in a bit of mischief. He tries to climb on top of the "kitchen" center and likes to take the taped name tags off the other children (to eat).

Anyways.

These pictures were all taken in one morning, I believe. Here is Will's workmanship:

Cleaning out the file cabinet for us.

Cleaning out the pantry for me. Took all the potatoes out and launched them up onto the counter.

Pulling all the books off John's bookshelf.

This is just a small sampling of what my day looks like, thanks to Will. I left out the "dangerous" things he has done/gotten into--I think I've rescued him from the claws of death more times than I care to count (like opening the dishwasher to get a peanut butter-coated knife to run around the house with....and he is allergic to nuts.)

Therefore.....I have loads of blog posts swimming around in my brain, but lest I leave him unattended, they will go unwritten for now. And of course, if he's napping, I'm crashed too. :o)

Which is where I'm headed right now...

Various Asundry for February 18, 2009

2009-02-18T20:37:00.002-06:00

*SO relieved about Danny Gokey making the Top 12 on American Idol. I am really digging his style these days. Also relieved about not having to worry with ol' Tatiana anymore. She was very bothersome.

*Finally ordered that Land's End swimsuit I've been talking/blogging about forever. However, if I don't lay off the Girl Scout Thin Mints, I'm going to need to send it back and get another size/style completely.

*Michael took John to the Vandy/UK basketball game last night. Michael has completely submerged John into the world o' Commodores and as a result, the wildcats have no spot in his heart. I remember YEARS ago (when we were sans-kids) we went to a VU/UK basketball match up--Michael wore his Vandy shirt, I wore my Kentucky shirt & we sat side-by-side cheering on our own teams like it mattered. That was back when I actually seemed to care what happened on the court. Last night, I was thrilled to send the two men off to the game and I got to stay up and watch American Idol and a special on Kelly Ripa on E! all by myself. That's my idea of a fun evening these days!

*Listening to John laughing hysterically in his bed--he is reading "Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roddick Rules" and giggling like crazy. Those books are quite funny. I love that he loves to read.

*Have you tried the banana pudding recipe from the cover of February's Southern Living? I highly recommend. Skip the nilla wafers for this version--it calls for none other than NUTTER BUTTERS! So good. I made it for a baby shower on Sunday afternoon. Delish!

*Training for the Country Music 1/2 Marathon is going well. I'm up to 7 miles this weekend for my long run. No injuries and great weather have made it a very nice training season so far.

I think I'll go to bed now. I stayed up too late last night catching up on my shows...and Will was up a time or two with teething woes last night, so I am ti-red. Goodnight...

My how things have changed...

2009-02-14T06:57:00.003-06:00

Is it just me, or has Valentine's Day evolved into a family holiday? I somehow missed that bit of news along the way, but it is what it is, so we've decided to embrace it. The kids have been asking all week what our plans were to celebrate Valentine's Day with them, so we scrambled and come up with something.

Our big idea? We decided we'd take them to the Y and swim at the indoor pool.

When we announced it last night, I got assaulted with love the likes of which you've probably never seen before. I was sitting on the floor and told them the plan for today and was completely bowled over (literally!) with hugs and kisses. It was borderline violence. You'd have thought we told them we were going to Disney World instead of the family YMCA.

So, while you're out at a fancy schmancy restaurant tonight wearing your Sunday best while gazing at your special one over top of the dozen red roses he brought to you.....think of me and my winter white pale legs a'splishing and a'splashing with 3 kids hanging onto my neck.

But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I'll have 3 extra Valentines to spend the evening with and this has made them happier than I could ever be sitting in a restaurant tonight!

Now, about those flowers, however...

How Well Do You Know your Valentine? A Quiz

2009-02-11T13:24:00.000-06:00

Just in time for Valentine's Day, here's a little quiz you & your sweetie can do to commemorate the special holiday. (Quiz taken from Real Simple magazine.)

Answer the questions for you and your valentine. Then, ask them to do the same on their own paper. Winner gets off laundry duty for a month:

1. What reality television show would you consider auditioning for?

You:

Special One:

2. What website do you spend the most time on?

3. What's the most embarrassing song on your iPod?

4. On a limitless menu, what would you order?

5. What was the last book you read?

6. Which way do you hang the toilet paper, over or under?

7. What was your high school mascot?

8. What is the one place on the planet you're dying to visit?

Upcoming Auditions

2009-02-10T20:23:00.002-06:00

In case you're interested....

"The Biggest Loser" is hosting an open casting call for next season on February 28 here in downtown Nashville at the Wildhorse Saloon. I've always wanted to workout with Bob & Jillian, but I'm thinking I wouldn't qualify...

SO, if weight loss isn't your thing, consider joining me as I **consider** joining the open casting call for "Can You Duet?". It's coming up on March 7, also at the Wildhorse Saloon. I'm considering bribery or blackmail on a few of my friends who have been known to pick up a karaoke mic with me. My good friend Anna and I have a few options....she & I have been known to do a rousing rendition of "Material Girl", complete with 80's dance moves.

Or, maybe I can talk our friend Kevin into auditioning with me. We've just about perfected our "Copacabana" routine.

Serious things to think about here...

Have you ever been relieved to have a stomach virus?

2009-02-06T07:45:00.002-06:00

No? I'm the only one? Oh, ok. Allow me to explain:

You see, yesterday morning I had this crazy dream that I was pregnant. It was one of those super REAL dreams when you wake up and you have to take a sec to realize that it was just a dream.

Another baby is not exactly in our plans these days, so I woke up feeling a little nervous about the whole thing. Is God trying to tell me something? Is he changing the roadmap of my life to include another baby? I didn't know.

But because we haven't been planning on adding to our family anytime soon (or anytime ever), I went into a state of panic when I started to feel nauseous yesterday morning. Really nauseous. And really panic-y (is that a word?).

A few hours later, when the "symptoms of a stomach virus" became obvious (I'll spare you the details), I called Michael with an SOS to come home to help with the kids. He expressed his sympathy for my illness, but I could only think of one thing:

"At least I'm not pregnant...this will be over in 24 hours."

Always looking at the bright side, folks, always looking at the bright side.

Warning: Wii Fit might cause trauma to your otherwise healthy marriage

2009-02-04T09:02:00.004-06:00

The other night we were at some friends' house and they have a fancy, new, cutting edge and wonderful Wii Fit. I'd never tried one out and was anxious to do so.

However, I was wearing my new Calvin Klein's that fit "just so" and we'd just eaten lots of cheap Mexican food.

Not usually a good time to try it out, but anyways, it was my chance. I eagerly volunteered to go first, not knowing what was involved.

Did I mention that I was wearing jeans? And we'd just eaten fajitas galore.

So I hopped onto the board and immediately it starts asking very personal questions. Little did I know they were about to broadcast my BMI to the whole crowd. Yes, my BMI. Dang myself for volunteering to go first! That "go-getter" attitude gets me in trouble more often than not, and this was such an opportunity.

So, once my BMI was shouted from the highest hill in middle Tennessee, the Wii Fit asks me to pick a trainer and he works with me through some balance exercises. He's about to tell me my Wii Fit age.

Jeans + Mexican food = bad Wii Fit experimentation combination

My Wii Fit Age? Why, do you REALLY want to know? Really?

OK, but only because I trust you and know you won't laugh at me like my husband did.

55

Yes, that's in years. 55 years old. I want a do over.

That night as we got into bed, my husband looked at me and said, "I've never shared a bed with a 55 year old woman before."

"Good night, dear."

Feeling blue? Down in the dumps? Here's help:

2009-02-03T12:35:00.006-06:00

There's a whole new brand of play out there now for the young ones. Toys have changed quite a bit even in the last 8 years since John was a baby, but this new variety that Will is playing with has an unexpected side effect and I quite like it.

The toy/game manufacturers seem to have decided that some kids may not be getting the ol' self-esteem boost from mom & dad like they used to. So, they built some words of love into the toys.

The first place I noticed it was when I was playing Webkinz. By myself. There, I admitted it. Yes, I do play Webkinz.com and have my own account and everything. I have to take turns, just like John & Maddy when it comes to computer time to play Webkinz.

Anyway, there's this great game on there called "Smoothie Moves." It's a lot of fun. [If you don't have a Webkinz account, you can play a similar game here: Zuma.] The Webkinz version has this cat driving around in a car shooting pieces of fruit at a conveyor belt in order to make smoothies. But the best part is, she just loves on you the whole time. In a southern accent. Here's a little sampling:

"You're all kinds of wonderful."

"That's nice."

"Nice work, Sugarplum."

"This is fun."

By the time you've finished playing the game, you're just absolutely beaming from the inside out!

The other spot I've noticed this self-esteem boosting phenomenon is in this little puppy dog toy that Will got for Christmas. It helps the child learn different colors, body parts, music stuff....just the usual educational toy for tots. EXCEPT it just loves on your soul. Here's a little sampling of what the puppy says:

"You're WONDERFUL!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"Can you give me a hug?"

"I love you, I love you, morning noon and night....you make the world so bright..."

So, next time you're feeling down...do what I do: Log onto Webkinz and you'll be feeling better in no time.

[EDITED TO ADD: Retta posted a comment with another good one. We have this same camera! It's Disney Princess and when you "take a picture", the princess says, "Smile! You look wonderful! You're pretty as a princess!" Thanks for the reminder, Retta! It's funny, though--I don't think they make boy's sports toys or cars that say "good shot!" "great driving, dude," "you play like a pro!"]

The guilt. OH the guilt!!!

2009-01-31T21:20:00.002-06:00

I feel terrible, just terrible. You remember that lovely little piece I did about Cinderella's Castle several months back? It was a fabulous little dollhouse contraption thing that Maddy played with all her princess dolls and she loved it for about 2 or 3 years.

Then, she didn't love it anymore. One day, just out of the blue, she said to put it up and that I could sell it.

So I did.

Not so fast, you say! Surely it was an impulsive decision for her to demand that I sell it...and so I thought as well. I didn't sell it right away. We kept it a few months. I'd ask her about it every week or so and see if she wanted to play with it.

And she didn't.

So finally...the day came in early December when I listed it on Craigslist.

And no one wanted it.

I just kept it in our storage room--asked her about it occasionally and she stood by her decision that she was not interested in playing with it anymore.

Honestly, it made me a little sad! I didn't want her to be so grown up that she wasn't into the princess thing anymore.

I never deleted the Craigslist ad and wouldn't you know, I finally had an offer for it a month after I originally listed it. I was all set to meet the buyer one day about 3 weeks ago and told Maddy all about it and she continued to nonchalantly dismiss the whole thing and acted glad for the 3 year old who was going to be on the receiving end.

La di da la di da la di da....life goes on.....don't give it another thought.....UNTIL....

Wednesday afternoon we were driving to the Y and I suddenly hear the silent sobbing noise coming from the back of the van. It was as if she were trying her hardest NOT to cry, but she couldn't stifle the emotion and it flowed. Oh, how it flowed.

The source of her grief? SHE WANTS HER CINDERELLA CASTLE BACK. She wants to play with it. Her barbies/princess dolls don't fit in her new dollhouse the way they did in the castle. TEARS and tears and tears and tears and more tears.

So, then I start crying. As I'm driving. Which is not a good combination.

We got parked at the Y and I just had to hold her in my lap and love on her until she got it all out.

It was painful, readers, so so painful. Absolutely broke my heart. And that's the end of that story.

[I don't have a light and happy ending to that part of the story, but I do have something else kind of funny to confess. I am TERRIBLE about negotiating, haggling, bargaining...whatever you call it. I practically give stuff away at garage sales--"oh, just take it--I don't need it...." and I never ask for discounts or a "break" in a price. We could have completely ridiculous service at a restaurant and they could bring me a piece of pink steak when I ordered chicken and I still wouldn't say a word. ANYWAYS, all that is background to the big transaction for selling the Cinderella Castle. I had it listed at $35 on Craigslist, knowing that you never get what you ask for, so I naturally priced it a bit high. When I met the buyer, I was just bracing myself to NOT GIVE IT TO HIM, NO MATTER HOW CUTE HIS LITTLE GIRL IS. Well, he said he'd take it and I said "great" and he proceeds to hand me a twenty, a ten, and a five. That would be, yes, $35. My asking price. SCORE!!! Well, not yet. I felt so awkward about it, so I took the money from him and then promptly handed him back the $5 bill. I told him I'd only feel right about taking $30 for it. WHAT?!?]

Forgiveness. Reconciliation. A Fabulous Return Policy

2009-01-29T08:18:00.002-06:00

If you've been reading "Welcometomyblog" for very long, you may remember the whole "I'm going to win this fabulous vacation" thing I had going on in the fall. In the end, I was completely overlooked and dissed by Land's End and the prize ended up going to people who had faced trials and triumphed over them rather than me and my fun family vacation story. Oh, the pain!!! The humiliation! The trauma I suffered...

I was really struggling with forgiving Land's End for their flaws in choosing the wrong winner.

Then my heart started to soften as I got free shipping code after free shipping code over the holidays. They were practically BEGGING me to buy something from them and were willing to cut out the shipping cost in order to mend that road with me.

Well, I had truly started to move along my journey toward reconciliation with them when I got the MARVELOUS and salute-worthy swimwear collection catalog in the mail. Oh my goodness. I believe I spoke of these yesterday in my snow day post. These swimsuits were so beautiful, so classy. TEARS in my eyes, people. I had tears in my eyes as I struggled with the decision of which one to order this summer. (as an aside...Amy, I still say I called dibs on "orange/blue fun top"....we'll take this up later).

I am happy to report this morning that I have completely forgiven Land's End for snubbing me in their Vacation contest. Why? Oh, why not! John's Land's End backpack had a seam tear out of it yesterday and it's only a few months old. I called this morning to see about getting a new one and THEY ARE SHIPPING ME ONE FREE TODAY. Yes, that's right. On the house. I'd always read about their "Guaranteed. Period." policy, but I assumed there was some fine print that stood in the way. Nope. I just have to return the damaged one to a local Sear's/Land's End store and the new one is on the UPS truck as I type.

Land's End, I accept your apology and I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again.

And by the way, I expect to be in Cabo on your dime this time next year as the winner of your next vacation giveaway. Thankyouverymuch.

Various Asundry for January 28

2009-01-28T08:10:00.005-06:00

3 posts in 2 days! How'd you get so lucky? (especially after my musing yesterday about stopping the whole operation).

OK, so we got the 6:00 am phone call this morning from a very chipper sounding director of schools saying that this inclement weather was shutting them down today. 6:00 am. really? Is that necessary? I guess it is considering high schoolers around here get picked up for the bus at 6:25. So, we're off today. The sleet has begun and we're "scheduled" to get 1" of snow this morning, then it's over. Our grass looks like marshland--we've gotten so much rain. So, I'm not hopeful the snow will stick or allow for any fun & entertainment since we currently have a river flowing through our backyard. Oh! I just saw the first snowflakes! And yes, they are plopping right to the ground and disappearing promptly.

God bless my mother-in-law who is having fun in the sun in ARUBA this week. She mentioned the other day that we ought to think about going to Aruba for our next big anniversary...to which my sweet husband (always one to seize any opportunity) said, "Well, our 11th anniversary is coming up and that is a pretty big deal, you know...." I don't think 11th anniversary was what she was talking about, considering we just got to cruise the Caribbean in May to mark our 10th.

Yep, it's snowing alright. I wonder how long it would have to snow to completely cover up that box of graham crackers that is still sitting on my patio?

Snow days. Love them. It's 8:19 am. We've already had to shut the Wii off for the morning because of some irreconciliable difference regarding MarioKart. We then moved onto breakfast, the computer, and now we're watching Phineas & Ferb on Demand. I love that show! I think it's because Ashley Tisdale (you know, Sharpay from High School Musical) is the voice of Candace and that always makes me laugh.

Speaking of HSM--the HSM3 DVD comes out in a few weeks. I know what I'm getting Michael for Valentine's Day!!!

I know it's hard to think about swimwear on a Snowday, but have you seen the new collection from Land's End?!?!? AMAZING. They make the best swimsuits!!! I am currently in a "I called it" email debate with my friend Amy about which one of us called dibs on a certain top first. I have a free shipping code.....hmmmmm.......maybe whoever receives the top in the mail first is the one who calls it. Why can't we both get the same suit, you ask? Because 96% of our summer pool time is spent together and there's nothing more awkward than having an adult twin.

AND...I'll finish this off with a very Happy Birthday wish to my sweet niece Lydia who turns 12 tomorrow. I still remember the day she was born like it was yesterday--she's the oldest of all my nieces & nephews and we were all CRAZY about her! (We're crazy about all of the kids, don't get me wrong....) I was a junior in college and I RAN to my car which was parked on the other side of campus. Beth (my sis) and I took off for Lousville to introduce Lydia to her aunts! I'll never forget how funny it looked to see my brother Craig holding a baby. Anyways, Happy Birthday Lydia! Love you girl! (and yes your gift is in the mail) :o)

Oh, those graham crackers are getting a good little dusting of snow already! I feel a photo opportunity coming on...

And the award for mother of the year goes to....

2009-01-27T12:16:00.004-06:00

....not me.

you know that crying over cutting teeth/molars last night that I referred to?

Well, it was actually a pretty nasty ear infection for poor Will.

Here's a picture of him this morning at the doctor's office looking no worse for wear...

Notice his crazy rooster hair. That would be from the shower he took in the middle of the night to get him to calm down...you know how your hair does crazy stuff when you go to bed with wet hair? Well, that's his look today. Maddy looked at him when he got up this morning and said, "Will, you are having a VERY bad hair day!"

(And yes, you've probably noticed that I do let him play with the doctor's tongue depressors while we're there. They're much cleaner than the lovely strep-tainted toys that all the other kids play with.)

Bad dreams and molars

2009-01-27T08:13:00.003-06:00

2 of the kids are having sleep issues, here lately:

Maddy is scared and says she has bad dreams.

Will is cutting 4 molars all at once.

And I am having bad dreams about kids who have bad dreams and babies cutting teeth. Oh wait, that's not a dream.

Last night was particularly grueling. (We do have some good nights, but I never to seem to remember those.) Will had a hard time going to sleep, then woke up at 9:30 screaming in pain. We could not get him to settle down no matter what we tried! We even put him in the shower which is ordinarily his favorite spot! He loves to take showers. That did not do much good. He'd had Motrin, Orajel on his teeth, and lots of love...but they didn't seem to help. He finally fell back asleep, only to awaken again at 11:30 with the same deal.

Finally got him back to sleep only to be awakened by the "I'm scared" call across the hall about an hour later. That went on for a while.

Once she was settled, it took me about 2 hours to go back to sleep.

We all woke up very late this morning (John only had 15 minutes to go from bed to bus!) and it's freezing cold and so wet outside.

I just noticed a package of graham crackers out back on the patio table getting soaked by the rain. No telling what else has been left out there!

Enough for now...gotta get ready for preschool drop off.

[Just read through this before posting...Boooorrrriiiinnnngggg! To blog, or not to blog, that is the question. My creativity has taken a hit these last few months as I have been chasing Will...maybe I'll shut this whole thing down for a while and come back when I can reclaim some of my brain cells? I'm going to post this anyways. Thanks for suffering through!]

Easiest first aid I ever administered:

2009-01-22T07:50:00.000-06:00

[Child runs wimpering into the room where I am talking on the phone.]

"What is it Maddy?"

"Look! Look right there! AAGH! Look at my finger, mommy, quick!"

"That's ketchup. Not blood. Ketchup."

"Oh. OK. Thanks mom."

[Child skips off humming a happy little tune.]

I heart camels

2009-01-21T14:52:00.006-06:00

Last night we had our little family devotion time and read the story from Genesis about the servant going to look for a wife for Isaac. He was going to choose the girl who watered all of his camels.

So, Rebecca came along & it was obvious that she was "the one". She performed the task at her own will and won the servant's favor.

As we talked with the kids after the story, we asked them what they thought that said about Rebecca's character.

Acceptable answers: This proves that she is hospitable, kind, hard-working, serving, or a host of other desirable characteristics.

What answers did we get? Read on:
Maddy's Answer: "This shows that she loves animals."

Not quite. So, we rephrased the question again and threw in some clues. How hard is it to draw water from a well? Very hard. How many camels did he have? A lot (10 or 12, I believe.)

SO...once again we asked: What does this story prove about Rebecca's character?

John's Answer: "Oh! I get it. I know it now. This shows that she loves camels."

Presidential Job Perks: room & board

2009-01-20T15:39:00.004-06:00

It was all about the inauguration around here today. We watched it this morning on TV and saw the throngs of people rushing into DC. Both kids got to watch it on TV at school and had lots of discussions about the importance of today. But the thing that impressed Maddy (age 5) the most...

"Did you know that Barakobama gets to be the President AND they are going to let him live in the White House too?!?!?!?!!!"

I'm glad she did finally get his name right, though it is one big word in her mind. At least she doesn't call him "O'Bracka" anymore.

Biggest Loser & American Idol "tidbits"

2009-01-16T09:12:00.004-06:00

We were glued to the TV this week for the auditions on American Idol Tuesday & Wednesday night. It made for some very entertaining viewing. I have to say I was most intrigued by "bikini girl" and how she made it past the judges!

Anyways, I found a great write-up somebody did who auditioned at the same gig as "bikini girl" and she described the audition process--there is some major editing going on, there--it's not always what you see on TV!

If you want to check it out, click here. The author says the crowd BOO'd when bikini girl got her golden ticket.

We also enjoyed a healthy dose of Biggest Loser this week (flipping back & forth between AI and BL on Tuesday night). Great episode--these contestants feel so much NICER than last season! The former model, Tara (green team) is so supportive of everybody. LOVE her. And what about BOB going off on Joelle!!! I really wish Joelle's teammate had stayed at the ranch instead of her--the teammate wanted it more and was more motivated.

Total sadness when Jerry had to leave; everybody was heartbroken!

That's it for now--the kids are off school today for cold temps, so I'm off to find new ways to entertain them when it's too cold to go outside.

Attention Plumbers!

2009-01-15T13:37:00.005-06:00

You know the ol' cliche about plumbers and their pants riding low and showing their backside? Well, it's really not so much of a cliche. It's real. And it's happening all the time.

Over the holidays, my parents had a plumbing need and so a very nice man showed up the day after Christmas to work on their gas fireplace. The family was sitting in this room, waiting to start a movie (Dan in Real Life, if you must know). We were all poised to hit "PLAY" on the DVD player when he showed up, so we just decided to wait until he was gone. So, we're sitting around just looking at each other b/c he says he'll just be a minute--nobody wanted to get up and start something new since the movie was ready to go.

The poor guy bends down right in front of us all as we're watching him work and wouldn't you know that we see a little more of him than we cared to see.

THANKFULLY, it was cold outside and he had on some long undies.

BUT(T)...they were HOLE-Y long undies. Yes, he had a rather obvious tear in his undergarments and it was nothing but simultaneously awkward and somehow quite funny as we all tried hard not to stare. Even more difficult, however, was trying not make eye contact with each other because we knew it'd all be over then and we would be unable to recover from the hysterics that were sure to ensue.

So, imagine my delight when I saw an ad in the local paper that addresses this problem:

"NO CRACK PLUMBING. WE WEAR OVERALLS."

How delightful is that! I tip my hat to a plumbing company that takes this epidemic seriously!

Trying to get "ahead" in life

2009-01-13T07:45:00.003-06:00

Two head injury incidents came to light yesterday. Both were for my oldest son John who has had at least 3 rounds of stitches on his face/head (that I can remember--I feel like I'm still missing one). I had brothers growing up, but that sure did not prepare me for being the mom of a son who tends to be a touch accident-prone.

Imagine my surprise as I sat at Panera yesterday having lunch with a friend. My phone rang and it was the YMCA. Thinking I had left something there (I had just left the Y 30 minutes before), I answered and it was the children's program director calling to find out how John's head was. You see, apparently, he bumped it pretty hard the WEEK BEFORE (as in 7 days prior to this phone call) and she was just following up from the incident report they'd filed to find out how he was doing. WHAT?!? News to me. Obviously, I told her, he was doing just fine.

So, onto incident #2. Maddy was looking out the front door waiting for John's bus when she suddenly declared "There are two busses on our street! One of them is driving up to our house!" (It was all very exciting.) Well, John was on the bus coming to our house and he was the ONLY kid on that bus. The other bus carried the rest of the students that normally ride with him.

The thought going through my head was that this was either really really good (perhaps a good behavior perk is to have your own private bus? No? Didn't think so) or this was really really bad (a fight? an injury?). Yes, that's more like it.

So, the bus driver and John came up to the house and she explained that he had an accident on the bus by falling out of his seat and cut his head on a piece of metal ON THE FLOOR. He is holding a bloody paper towel on his head and he is obviously shaken up. Bus driver felt terrible, our neighbors are there to check it out, and Maddy in a sudden attempt to gain some attention declares that her head hurts too. Thankfully, Will was napping or it would've been a total circus!

[As to why he was on his own bus? Best I can figure out is if someone is bleeding, they have to clear the entire bus...maybe? I don't know for sure. He said the bus driver was planning to take him back to school to fill out the report, etc, but he wanted to come home and "see my mom." Awww.....melts my heart! No matter how old he gets, he still wants his mom!]

My mother in law, the RN, (everybody needs a nurse in their family, you know?) came over and checked it out to determine that he didn't need a stitch.

Yeah for that! He was ok at this point, but I could tell he was still feeling some anxiety about the whole ordeal.

Our sweet friends & neighbors came over to check on him later with a homemade "Go Vandy!" sign and a Snickers for John (and some Smarties for Maddy who declared they gave that to her because she has asthma.) That definitely cheered him up.

So far, so good today--we're incident free!

American Idol: Top 12 Songs that should never be sung again

2009-01-09T17:30:00.004-06:00

I was reading Boomama's blog (she's great, by the way) and she is really into American Idol as well. She posted a link to Entertainment Weekly's List of the "12 Songs that should be banned from American Idol Forever". Before taking a click, I tried to brainstorm what I thought that list would be and came up a few, but one was CLEARLY lacking:

Bonnie Raitt's "I can't make you love me."

Do they love that song on there or what? Seriously! Every season, particularly in the auditions, that song is absolutely worn out. Dawg.

I hold a special affinity for that song since Michael's old secretary also serenaded the entire office & their significant others at the Christmas Party in Atlanta a few years ago. She brought a TRACK, y'all. Really! She brought a track tape and gave it to the DJ and got all serious on us, grabbed a microphone and suddenly....'turn down the lights....' is stuck in my head for all time.

No, I wasn't jealous. Just because I am the karaoke queen [albeit self-proclaimed] and know my way around a mic stand in front of a crowd doesn't mean I envied the guts & gumption the secretary took that night..........

Anyways, other songs on the Top 12-never-to-be-repeated-again list:

1. Alone, by Heart

2. Anything by Stevie Wonder

3. Against All Odds, by Phil Collins

4. Sugar Pie Honey Bunch, The Four Tops

5. I Have Nothing, Whitney Houston

6. Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me, Elton John

7. Son of a Preacher Man, Dusty Springfield

8. I Believe, Fantasia

9. I Believe to my Soul, Ray Charles

10. It's Raining Men, Weather Girls

11. Rhythm is Gonna Get You, Gloria Estefan

12. My Girl, the Temptations [total aside: did I ever tell you about the time I saw them perform LIVE in Moscow, Russia on the 4th of July? No? Well, I did and it rocked.]

Another Various Asundry

2009-01-09T14:28:00.003-06:00

*No I'm not going to blog "The Biggest Loser" this season. It looks to be pretty good, though--we watched the Premiere the other night & we're hooked for another one. But, don't think I'm going to invest the time into blogging it each week in light of the fact that...

AMERICAN IDOL STARTS NEXT WEEK!!!

Yes, we merely waste our time the other 7 months of the year just waiting for American Idol to dawn each January through May. It is good TV, people! I'll probably do a little blogging about AI this year instead.

Other stuff:

Crafty Kim & Crafty Catherine struck again this Christmas. Check out these cookies! They were amazing to look at and eat.

*Speaking of cookies...I made it through the holidays with only .5 pound weight gain, thanks to Sparkpeople! Now I'm working on the next 6 pounds and I'll be right where I want to be. Lost the initial 7 pounds that made me join the Sparkpeople website/plan. Now I'll work on Goal 2.

*Speaking of Goal 2...I signed up to run the Country Music 1/2 Marathon again this year. My neighbor & friend Micah is going to hold me to it. She's focussed and diligent, she is! I'm sure I'll live through it, but it's looking like it could be an intense training regimen this spring.

Various Asundry for January 5, 2009

2009-01-05T16:35:00.005-06:00

Yes, I know I rarely post anymore. I am very sorry. I still love to blog and it's still ever-present on my mind, but with a "highly active" toddler, it is "highly rare" for me to find time to sit and type out the fantastic posts that are lurking in my brain. And, let me tell you, I do have some fantastic posts lurking there....

Also--(excuses, excuses), well, school has been out for well over 2 weeks, so I've been on mom overdrive with the big 2 kids home all the time as well. That'll kick your web surfing and blogging habit real quick, folks!

Anyways, here's a very generic "Various Asundry" for today:

*Currently playing: MarioKart on Wii. SUPER fun

*Currently pumped about: getting the house De-Christmas'd and the storage room cleaned out today.

*Currently cooking for dinner: pancakes

*Currently reading: The Lucky One by Nicholas Sparks. I was on the library's wait list a long time for this one. I guess I should say I'm not currently reading it...will open it up tonight after the kids go to bed.

*Currently thankful for: a quiet house this afternoon! My mother-in-law took the big kids to see Bolt and I got LOTS of stuff done around here.

*Currently waiting for: our van to get fixed. I was in a bit of a fender bender right before Christmas. I am driving a sweet ride, though. You usually get the Ford Escort to tote your family of 5 around in when you have a rental. We lucked out and got a very nice, very brand new Saturn SUV. Maddy actually kissed it when she saw it for the first time.

Currently bored by: This blog post. once again.

OK folks, that's all I can offer today. Perhaps my creativity will burst forth tomorrow as the schoolbus bursts into our neighborhood at 7:25 prompt.

New Year's Day Sleep-in: Name your price

2009-01-02T13:44:00.003-06:00

We had a great New Year's Eve/Day. Vanderbilt won the Music City Bowl and my firstborn son spent a little time on the Jumbo-tron, so I'm told. Lots of excitement there.

I spent the afternoon "watching a movie" (also known as "mommy scores a nap") with Maddy while Will slept, then headed off to some dear friends' house for dinner before meeting Michael and John back at our house with some Vandy friends for the evening. We celebrated New Year's Eve with the Eastern Time Zone (we're actually CST) and headed to bed at that point.

Well, January 1 dawned too soon in my tightly closed eyes and the kids, well, they were a callin' before 7:00 am and I could hardly move. When Will kept on calling and crying out for crib rescue, I continued to remain motionless hoping and praying that my husband would seek to love me as Christ loved the church and get up to deal with the kids while I got some more shut eye. I mean, that's what Jesus would do, right? He'd let me sleep in, I'm sure of it.

When Michael began playing an equally good game of *Parent Possum, I resorted to monetary bribery.

"I'll give you a dollar to let me sleep in."
No movement from his side of the bed.
"$1.25"
Still nothing.
"FINE. $1.50"

And, I'm proud to announce that Michael can be bought for 6 quarters. I haven't received a bill yet, but I'm sure it's coming. Either that or a barter for him to get an extra hour tomorrow morning.

*Parent Possum: when you play dead to get out of kid duty in the middle of the night or early morning hours

"When Technology Fails to Communicate" (or I could also title this, "No, I am not pregnant.")

2008-12-30T07:02:00.005-06:00

Interesting title, huh? Allow me to explain:

I have more than made my feelings about another pregnancy quite clear to my family (um, no thank you). However, Christmas Day, I was made aware of their expectation of a big announcement. (My answer is still, um, no thanks.)

It was quite comical, really.

On the road from TN to KY, I sent a series of text messages back & forth to my siblings who were already at mom & dad's house.

The texts I sent were VERY straight forward and purely about our travels. Apparently, they were reading between the lines (the lines that were non-existent, I might add) and were just sure I was trying to tell them something.

Here, let me show you:

TEXT #1:
Ellen: "Got a late start. Big surprise! Be there around 1:30 pm"
Ellen Translation: "We got away late. That's not really surprising, now is it? [sarcasm implied]. We'll arrive around 1:30 pm"
Family translation: "We have a BIG SURPRISE!!!! Can't wait to see you around 1:30pm and tell you what our BIG SURPRISE is!!!!"

TEXT #2:
Ellen: "eta 4 cousins?"
Ellen's translation: "What is the estimated time of arrival for the other cousins?"
Family translation: "There are not 3 cousins coming with me from Nashville, but 4 FOUR, count 'em, FOUR cousins (1-John, 2-Maddy, 3-Will, 4-NEW BABY!!!!)"

Lastly, a CELL PHONE CONVERSATION:
Ellen: "When we get to the house, you all stay inside because the kids have a surprise for you. They want to ring the doorbell and do something, so just stay inside until we get there."
Ellen's translation: John & Maddy had been practicing Christmas carols and wanted to serenade the family with a new tune...but wanted to do it "carol style" by ringing the doorbell.
Family Translation: THIS IS IT!!!! THEY ARE GOING TO ANNOUNCE THE PENDING BIRTH OF YET ANOTHER PRECIOUS GRANDCHILD! The kids will have on "I'm a big brother/sister" t-shirts and this is going to be awesome.

I really should have kept their fantasy going, though--they were SO nice to me! "Ellen--you sit here and relax for a spell. A woman in your condition shouldn't be working so hard....Here, let me fix you a plate.....Oh, allow me to chase Will for a while! You just rest....."

So sorry to disappoint, but it's not happening, folks. And if I were having Nashville Cousin #4, I can guarantee you I wouldn't be announcing it via text (as my sister in law Aimee so comically pointed out). You'd probably have to pick me up off the floor!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-25T07:54:00.001-06:00

We've been up since 6:15 am (the kids let us sleep in this year!) and have done the presents, eaten the cinnamon rolls, and the kids are now playing silently with all the new toys. It's a Silent Morning and I love it! We've had a fabulous Christmas so far--looking forward to spending a few days in KY with my family!

I'll leave you with a few seasonal photos:

Our annual trip to see the Ace Hardware Santa Claus

The theme of this Christmas, for us, has been "Will screaming." If you were "lucky enough" to receive our family Christmas card, you will notice this thread continuing nicely in that photo. Oh, what the heck, I'll post it here again. It was just lovely enough to share once more:

MERRY CHRISTMAS, everybody!

and of course, a very Happy New Year!

My long term memory works just fine, thank you.

2008-12-23T13:50:00.000-06:00

This morning, Michael asked me what I had going on today. I said I needed to wrap...(as in "wrap presents".)

In an attempt to be funny, he proceeds to spray me with a stream of saliva in a fit of beat boxing...(as in "rap songs").

In an attempt to be even funnier than he is (always my goal), I consulted the very back, very dark recesses of my brain and came up with a CHRISTMAS RAP, courtesy of Run DMC:

"It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens. Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens"

He busted out laughing so hard and had to know WHERE the heck that came from? You think you know your own wife....then she comes up with Run DMC lyrics. He's not so sure about anything anymore.

Now, mind you, I have never rapped in my life. I had no idea I even knew that song. So, of course I had to consult the only person who would likely know why and how I knew this song.

A phone call to my older brother Keith confirmed indeed that he was responsible for exposing me to this video over and over one Christmas. He then went onto sing the rest of the rap for me and so, now you know that my entire family is officially crazy.

If you'd like to see for yourself, click here and prepare to be dazzled by the talents of Run DMC.

Thank you, Nestle.

2008-12-22T12:36:00.006-06:00

A few weeks ago, I played a little game with some girlfriends about holiday traditions. There were 3 questions:

IF NOT FOR YOUR KIDS, which holiday traditions would you:

1. want to ditch?

2. want to begin?

3. want to keep forever & ever and make them feel guilty if they don't do it too when they grow up.

My answers:

1. DITCH: I would totally ditch the whole mess of making sugar cookies and decorating. It is SO messy. You find sprinkles in all the crevices of your kitchen for months afterwards. Not to mention the sugar high and crash that ensues. Plus red dye frosting stains your countertops. Fights break out over who gets to decorate THAT angel because THIS angel has a broken wing. Did I mention that I do not like making cookies with my kids? I feel so guilty admitting this! I mean, what kind of mother am I? I could get my motherhood license revoked for this confession.

2. BEGIN: go to a midnight mass or candlelight service and then sleep in the next day.

3. KEEP: reading Christmas story from Luke and a big breakfast on Christmas morning.

Well, glory be! I have had the honor of revising my "Ditch" answer because Nestle has come up with the best thing since sliced bread. "Christmas Shapes Sugar Cookies". It's a package that has the shapes already cut out. You just bake and decorate with the pack of icing already mixed and ready to stain, eh, I mean spread.

Oh yes, I'm sure you've seen it and given it a little snide glance as you strolled past this "kit" on your way to the baking aisle to pick up your granulated sugar, vanilla, eggs, and flour to make a Homemade Christmas.

But, I have no shame. My "Mom of Excellence" status has been redeemed and I am back in my kids' good graces because we bought this kit and did the sugar cookie baking/decorating thing on Saturday. And I stayed happy and joyful and loving through the whole experience.

Nestle has saved Christmas, once again.

If you want, post a comment and answer my questions: Had you no children to dictate how Christmas is run around your home: What would you ditch? What would you start? And lastly, what tradition do you hope to keep for all time?

Crime & Punishment

2008-12-18T20:08:00.003-06:00

When Will became mobile, he quickly discovered a great little spot in our house we like to call the toilet. No, he's not an early potty trainer--he prefers to splash in it with his hands. G-R-O-S-S. Grody. Really nasty habit, if you ask me. He has a sensor on his body that alerts him at the very moment that the bathroom door has been left ajar.

So, I posted little signs on all our bathroom doors..."PLEASE CLOSE DOOR" [notice that I did demand politely].

I talked with the whole family about it. I demonstrated how it was done. I sang songs about closing the bathroom door. I even made certain people who were responsible for leaving the door open SCOUR Will's hands when he was caught in the act of potty splashing.

Well, enough is enough.

A few weeks ago, John was the one responsible and I was just tired of it.

So, I came up with a sure-fire solution to get him to remember. And...it served double duty! He needed a little extra handwriting tutoring, so I had him write 50 times:

"I will remember to close the bathroom door."

And it's WORKED! He is the ultimate bathroom door closer in our family.

Now...any ideas for how to get my husband to remember?

That's my boy!

2008-12-18T12:39:00.004-06:00

Will's first words were "mamamama" and "dadadadada". We're not sure which one came first and there is hot debate in our house over who won his heart first.

However, we discovered this week that his next word was none other than...

COOKIE.

[it sounds a little like "cooka" however, but you know what he means, right?]

He has become our resident Cookie Monster this Christmas with treats everywhere we go. The funny thing is, he's still got little skinny legs, but that's probably from all the moving he does. The boy does not stop. Unless he is in bed asleep, he is on the move!

Which makes for one tired "mamamamama".

Biggest Loser--the Biggest Finale!

2008-12-16T21:00:00.000-06:00

Oh, we've worked so hard to get to this point, readers, and here we are!!!

The goosebumps have already formed on my arms and my eyes are already teary. This is the best episode. This is why we watch! This is what makes it all worth it! I love seeing the look of satisfaction and peace and happiness on their faces when they show up at the finale having more than reached their goals.

Here we go:

Recap, recap, recap. It's amazing to watch the recaps and see the contestants from the beginning--they have changed so much!

Recap, recap, recap.

Recap, more recap, followed by a touch more recap.

Ed vs. Heba:
Who did I vote for? Well, no one, actually. But, who did America vote for? Let's take a look.

Let's see how Heba did at home...SHE LOOKS AMAZING!!!!! She does not look like the same person. Beautiful, simply beautiful.

Let's check out Ed now....NO WAY! He is looking so good! Again, like a totally different person.

I'm so proud of the orange team!

ED WON AMERICA'S VOTE. Even though he pled (pleaded?) for America to vote for Heba. Ed blamed the economy....I think it's because Heba was so tight with mean ol' Vicki the whole season and everybody wanted to punish her for that. I do feel bad for her. That has got to be humiliating....I truly feel sorry for her.

Now it's time to see the 13 elminated contestants:

And they just look great. I especially can't believe how good the ladies look! Stacey takes the lead early on, followed by Phil just shortly, followed by Amy! Amy & Phil (husband and wife/red team) were SO close in their weight loss percentages, but Amy just BARELY won. Good for her!

Heba's weighing in now. And, did she beat Amy? YES. Heba won the "at home" biggest loser. Too bad--I wish somebody who truly did it "at home" would've won.

The Final Weigh In

Vicky, Ed, and Michelle are going to show us their new look. The ladies are having all kinds of trouble walking in their heels tonight! Vicky almost bit the dust, same as Heba earlier in the show.

Before they weigh in, however, I REALLY hope we can get a little recap about the season. NOT. Come on, people! We have had all the recap we need! Get on with it! If you took away all the unnecessary recap and product place (Subway!) ads...you'd probably have a 45 minute show. Which would be just fine, y'all.

Ed: Starting Weight 335. Ending weight: 196. 139 pounds lost for 41.% weigh loss!

Vicky: Starting Weight 246. Ending weight: 145. 101 pounds lost for 41.06% weight loss. CLOSE, but no cigar. I'm kinda glad...I was not her biggest fan.

Michelle: Starting Weight 242. Ending weight: 132. 110 pounds lost for 45% weight loss.

YEAH!!! Michelle won! Way to go...